A Systematic Theologian on Internet Dating Sites...

Okay, so I have had a bit of spring fever lately. So what else is a gal to do when she lives in a very small community? As to not put pressure on the friendships she already enjoys the obvious answer is to check out what the prospects on various internet dating sites may be! There are places like http://www.match.com/ However those places when I look at various factors that are important to me, for some reason Christian=politically conservative and Politically liberal=spiritual not religious very consistantly. I realize that these are things that are both incredibly problematic for me.

So, out of sheer curiosity, I found myself stumbling across a website for Lutheran Singles. You would think that I would be in my personal heaven. Maybe on a site like this, I would find someone more liberal leaning in their politics because of their faith, beleives in Jesus yet beleives that it is the grace of God who saves us, not our own works...

This is where I probably got even more frusterated than on match.com! I was shocked at how many men wanted a woman who could cook! Dont get me wrong, I enjoy cooking but I would find it very problematic to be with a man who wants to find that in a woman. I do not want to be some kind of indentured servant to a mans life by any means but to pursue things because I am interested in them. And would much rather prefer a man who was interested in me because we were both into more intellectually driven conversations and doing crazy things. Then I was shocked at how many men on that particular site were politically conservative because of their faith. This would be a huge problem for me as well. I hate labels because I am a liberal. And when my faith calls me to worry about those who are poor and oppressed how on earth I truly would have a hard time dating a man who felt like his faith called him to vote republican. Isnt there more verses in the Bible about caring about the poor than there is about things like homosexuality and abortion???? (And some of those sentiments are taken out of context as well...)

The other problem with any dating site too is the issue of defining oneself as well. Do I stress that I cant wait for my netflix to arrive or that I cant wait for my New Yorker to arrive? Do I stress that I find it emotionally exhiliarating at trying to stay in shape or that I frequent bookstores? That I enjoy having opportunities to do fun things with my friends occasionally or that I enjoy staying in, cooking my own food and quietly watching a DVD? That I would love to write another book or that I would like to learn how to dance or that I would love to do some kind of servant learning in an African country?

The seemingly easy thing to do is this: to examine what I am the most passionate about. I realize that I have more interests than I will ever have time to pursue. But my main driving passion in life is my understanding of my faith.

In this, when I look at an internet dating site, I can not help but wonder some incredibly geekish questions that really could help me find out the way a potential date truly thinks.

How does his christology influence who he votes for?
How does his soteriology influence how he treats other people?
What is his understanding about the most pressing issues that we are under ecclesiastically in this day and age?
What are his understandings of the roles of christ and culture?
In this world of religious pluralism, how does he make sense of his christian beleifs? How does he communicate to people who do not share these beleifs?
If he identifies as Lutheran, what is his understanding of how we are to live out Gods grace to the world?

In examining this list, it sounds like more of the beginnings of some kind of final test for systematic theology or some kind of church job interview--not the kinds of things you would ask over a dinner date! In this, I can not help but think thats seminary has probably spoiled. I am already kind of stubborn about my theological leanings and I have been given even more language and ways of looking at this which I have come to enjoy quite a bit. For someone insistant on not wanting to date another seminary student, well, maybe this is grounds for some serious self examiniation!

However, maybe if people didnt have such limiting stereotypical ways of classifying their views of faith and life, I wouldnt need to formulate such geekish questions. So, in the meantime, I would rather just enjoy the friendships I have developed here. And I am only at this end of the country for a few more weeks. Maybe these questions are a point of clarity for me as well. I truly love systematic theology and my lutheran heritage. Maybe I would enjoy someone who liked having such questions and who would prefer having whoever they date be intellectually grounded instead of just going around trying to find a date.

What on earth happened in my life that I feel this way? And maybe, I find the way people classify themselves on internet dating sites to be incredibly stifling, and maybe a little too pretentious for my sake. Or maybe the timing is off as well. Or maybe its a combination of both...
But these are the questions a systematic theologian asks on the dating field when people check off the box "christian". Maybe seminary has fostered my intellectual snobbery about such things a little too much for me to be able to enter match.com without asking difficult questions of people. Or maybe, the timing is just off. There is no definite answer to this question. However I am choosing to trust the grace of God more boldly still in this issue by doing the following: avoiding the prospect of internet dating...for now at least.