I think it is going to be helpful to keep this blog this semester because I am deliberating out alot and I really appreciate the prayer support that I know you all give me when you take the time to read this blog.
I am back in the swing of things in Berkeley, CA. It is going to be a busy semester. I am looking for a different teaching parish site to complete my last semester of teaching parish at. I am doing Pace e Bene for an independent study, I am also taking: History and theology of modern church, American Lutheranism, Education, Old Testament. I was enrolled for a Revelation class which I decided to drop because I was not as excited about it as I was my other classes. With trying to get a new TP and in doing Pace e Bene and starting classes I have felt life feel pretty hectic.
I could work all the time if I am not careful. The key I think is going to be treating my commitments like a job that has parameters as much as possible in order to not drive myself crazy. This might not always be easy for me to do because I have a heart for academia. However I might keep myself from going mentally insane by doing this as well. I have my endorsement interview on Monday. Prayers for that please. Also I am working on applying for my internship site as well for next year.
Also, my time in MN this summer was fruitful. I had an amazing experience taking the mission developing class. I heard the most inspiring speaker, Ruben, when I was there. He put me on fire for being a mission oriented pastor. However at that conference I became aware that as much as I love Berkeley I do not feel like it really prepares me to be a pastor in mission. Ruben and I had a chat and he said that it was good that I have been exposed to this kind of church climate so that I am not naive about what is going on there. I am thinking critically as to whether or not I should complete my degree at Luther after this semester. I am feeling stressed out by my debt load (as a pastor I will never make what I need to make to pay back my loans) this year as well. The lower cost of living in the midwest and the fact that I do want to be a missional pastor are things that I am struggling through right now. I do love the GTU and I am on fire for Pace e Bene but I think that this is something worth considering. I think that there is a part of me that wishes that I can stay here quite a bit, however the fact is that I think I sometimes feel lonely in my perspective and being away from my support system (of all of you). The fact is that they do not offer a missional perspective on church out here much. Its one of the ways religion has been secularized out here a bit I think.
There is a lot going on in my life. Seriously, this is as much of a nutshell that I can make it right now. Updates and reflections you may be interested in will be posted on here as time goes by. Prayers are appreciated!
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Nonviolent Lutheranism Revisited
I just worked through this fabolous book, Engage for my Pace e Bene internship.
In recent news, yes, I got and received the Pace e Bene internship. The projects I am doing with them this semester include transcribing and writing some stories on nonviolence. I will also be reading material as I am interested in the spiritual aspects of nonviolence. When possible I hope to do some kind of nonviolent action and attend events as well. Working at Pace e Bene was probably the major thing that brought me back to Berkeley for the fall. I felt as though there was a lot more on mission, evangelism and emergent ministries at Luther that I do not get at PLTS. That and the friends in my class are off on their internships. God willing I will be on my internship next year. However this puts me at my internship when they return, making this no longer the social circle I have come to appreciate. I am discerning whether or not to continue my full year at PLTS or to put in more time at Luther. It was my passion for nonviolence that has brought me back to Berkeley, if only for one semester.
My intern supervisor told me to feel free to post things on the Pace e Bene blog as well. So I thought I would share with all of you my revisiting of lutheranism and nonviolence. I know this is something I have publically struggled through here so I thought it would be of an interest. Its shorter but the point is just to share some of my thoughts:
Non-Violent Lutheranism:
I just worked through our Engage book as the newer intern here. I am planning on dealing with nonviolence and spirituality a lot this semester. I thought I would share some of my initial thoughts that I have had:
I am Lutheran and I could not help but think of the notions of sin when I think of nonviolence. In my Lutheran tradition we claim that we sin every day and this is part of our humanity. But this does not mean that we should aspire to sin to receive God’s forgiveness either. In fact its best to aspire not to sin when possible. There are frequently cases of deliberating out the greater versus the lesser sin. I think that this is similar to notions of violence as well. We can not escape that we live in a violent culture, however we can try to find ways to live as nonviolently as possible. However we will never live completely nonviolently, yet I think we should aspire to live as nonviolently as possible. In this, following spiritual practices in some kind of way helps us with this nonviolent life.
On Pace e Bene blog:
www.paceebene.org/blog/betsy-dreier/nonviolent-lutheranism
In recent news, yes, I got and received the Pace e Bene internship. The projects I am doing with them this semester include transcribing and writing some stories on nonviolence. I will also be reading material as I am interested in the spiritual aspects of nonviolence. When possible I hope to do some kind of nonviolent action and attend events as well. Working at Pace e Bene was probably the major thing that brought me back to Berkeley for the fall. I felt as though there was a lot more on mission, evangelism and emergent ministries at Luther that I do not get at PLTS. That and the friends in my class are off on their internships. God willing I will be on my internship next year. However this puts me at my internship when they return, making this no longer the social circle I have come to appreciate. I am discerning whether or not to continue my full year at PLTS or to put in more time at Luther. It was my passion for nonviolence that has brought me back to Berkeley, if only for one semester.
My intern supervisor told me to feel free to post things on the Pace e Bene blog as well. So I thought I would share with all of you my revisiting of lutheranism and nonviolence. I know this is something I have publically struggled through here so I thought it would be of an interest. Its shorter but the point is just to share some of my thoughts:
Non-Violent Lutheranism:
I just worked through our Engage book as the newer intern here. I am planning on dealing with nonviolence and spirituality a lot this semester. I thought I would share some of my initial thoughts that I have had:
I am Lutheran and I could not help but think of the notions of sin when I think of nonviolence. In my Lutheran tradition we claim that we sin every day and this is part of our humanity. But this does not mean that we should aspire to sin to receive God’s forgiveness either. In fact its best to aspire not to sin when possible. There are frequently cases of deliberating out the greater versus the lesser sin. I think that this is similar to notions of violence as well. We can not escape that we live in a violent culture, however we can try to find ways to live as nonviolently as possible. However we will never live completely nonviolently, yet I think we should aspire to live as nonviolently as possible. In this, following spiritual practices in some kind of way helps us with this nonviolent life.
On Pace e Bene blog:
www.paceebene.org/blog/betsy-dreier/nonviolent-lutheranism
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Dare I Admit?????
Dare I admit that I have gotten hooked onto Yankee Doodle Dandy? Dare I admit that I love this song??
Maybe this demonstrates that music can have a strong political influence on us if we are not aware of it. I am aware of the militant language behind this. I am aware that much of this story is pro-war, anti-union. A republican would love this. But again, maybe this is an example on how music really appeals to our emotions. I feel so upbeat listening to Cohan. Cohan did communicate a certain level of pride in his country as well. I have been studying nonviolence a lot lately wanting to incorporate this in my life as much as possible. Yet Cohan is very much a part of me that appeals to my little girl sensibilities...
Women's Liberation
I thought that this was a good story on npr on womens liberaton.
Check out:
www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=94240375
Although it kind of begs the question for me as to whether it is "feminist" or not to enjoy partaking in our beauty culture. If I enjoy wearing make-up, I shave my legs and I am conscious of the clothing that I wear at what point am I perpetuating this culture that was deemed oppressive to women and when am I just doing this for my own decisons?I not think that this is where my value is as a women even though I find myself enjoying some parts of this beauty culture. Although I must admit that talking about such things quite abit can be dull to me: I would rather discuss theology than fashion, exchange ideas instead of recipies, imagine the ways that I can enjoy the world as a single woman instead of trying to live up to some desirable mold for a man. However I do enjoy things that are considered very feminine as well too. I think it is more that I do not want to be defined by my sex as much as my ability to live well in this world. In many regards I have reaped the benefits of this movement as I am now a seminary student.
Not too long ago in order to support myself I would have needed to be in nursing or education as the acceptable careers for a woman. I may have also talked myself into a marriage and child rearing because that is just what women did. I think that women married into the professions that they wanted more until recently by being, in my case, the pastors wife. Yet this does not mean now that I have been liberated to pursue this as a career that I would want to be with someone whose life and/or work conflicted with my ministry. I enjoy being a woman.
We still have a long way to go though too. I think frequently as a woman in ministry I am expected to enjoy kids quite a bit. While I do enjoy kids, I do not jump up and down about being around a lot of them either. I think frequently as a woman in ministry I am expected to be more on the emotional ends of things instead of on the intellectual. I am expected to enjoy conversations about shopping, dating, children and food. Those of you who know me well know that I hate small talk and gossip. In my mind, conversations about such things are relegated to small talk and gossip. I actually only enjoy such conversations with women who have intellectualism a part of their life. And women still arent encouraged to be intellectual if they want to be considered on the track for being a wife or a mother. I think that as a woman in ministry sometimes I am halfway expected to be curious about things like children and recipies. As a single woman in ministry I am expected to be a model of celibacy for other women but then if I find a husband without acting seductively I would be applauded. I do not know how to even get people to understand that I would liketo be married if I met someone compatable to me but that I am fine with the idea of not having kids so that I could go out and go to a show or actually have the time to cook a good meal or read a good book. I think that some of my problems with being a woman in ministry is that some of the things expected of me are not disimilar from the underlying societal expectations for someone who would be a wife or a mother. And even if a woman is in these roles I do not think that it is healthy to encourage these kinds of traits over other things. Do we really want a stepford version of church that is almost underlying this church basement lady image? What about women who have gifts for things that are not related to these sort of things, and while my cooking does tend to get applauded, I do not think that I am anywhere near what is expected for me as a woman entering the ministry.
So I am thankful to womens liberation that I am in seminary today as it obviously begun to effect the shape of the church. However I am not sure if I fit into this feminization of religion that has occurred in my favoring intellect. So we still have a long way to go!
Check out:
www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=94240375
Although it kind of begs the question for me as to whether it is "feminist" or not to enjoy partaking in our beauty culture. If I enjoy wearing make-up, I shave my legs and I am conscious of the clothing that I wear at what point am I perpetuating this culture that was deemed oppressive to women and when am I just doing this for my own decisons?I not think that this is where my value is as a women even though I find myself enjoying some parts of this beauty culture. Although I must admit that talking about such things quite abit can be dull to me: I would rather discuss theology than fashion, exchange ideas instead of recipies, imagine the ways that I can enjoy the world as a single woman instead of trying to live up to some desirable mold for a man. However I do enjoy things that are considered very feminine as well too. I think it is more that I do not want to be defined by my sex as much as my ability to live well in this world. In many regards I have reaped the benefits of this movement as I am now a seminary student.
Not too long ago in order to support myself I would have needed to be in nursing or education as the acceptable careers for a woman. I may have also talked myself into a marriage and child rearing because that is just what women did. I think that women married into the professions that they wanted more until recently by being, in my case, the pastors wife. Yet this does not mean now that I have been liberated to pursue this as a career that I would want to be with someone whose life and/or work conflicted with my ministry. I enjoy being a woman.
We still have a long way to go though too. I think frequently as a woman in ministry I am expected to enjoy kids quite a bit. While I do enjoy kids, I do not jump up and down about being around a lot of them either. I think frequently as a woman in ministry I am expected to be more on the emotional ends of things instead of on the intellectual. I am expected to enjoy conversations about shopping, dating, children and food. Those of you who know me well know that I hate small talk and gossip. In my mind, conversations about such things are relegated to small talk and gossip. I actually only enjoy such conversations with women who have intellectualism a part of their life. And women still arent encouraged to be intellectual if they want to be considered on the track for being a wife or a mother. I think that as a woman in ministry sometimes I am halfway expected to be curious about things like children and recipies. As a single woman in ministry I am expected to be a model of celibacy for other women but then if I find a husband without acting seductively I would be applauded. I do not know how to even get people to understand that I would liketo be married if I met someone compatable to me but that I am fine with the idea of not having kids so that I could go out and go to a show or actually have the time to cook a good meal or read a good book. I think that some of my problems with being a woman in ministry is that some of the things expected of me are not disimilar from the underlying societal expectations for someone who would be a wife or a mother. And even if a woman is in these roles I do not think that it is healthy to encourage these kinds of traits over other things. Do we really want a stepford version of church that is almost underlying this church basement lady image? What about women who have gifts for things that are not related to these sort of things, and while my cooking does tend to get applauded, I do not think that I am anywhere near what is expected for me as a woman entering the ministry.
So I am thankful to womens liberation that I am in seminary today as it obviously begun to effect the shape of the church. However I am not sure if I fit into this feminization of religion that has occurred in my favoring intellect. So we still have a long way to go!
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