Foot Surgery This Week...

I found a lump on my foot this last semester. I remember I found it the same day that I heard that Bret Farve was leaving the Packers. I was watching a DVD when I saw that there was this big fat lump on the back of my foot. I am a wild, violent sleeper. So intially, I thought that I may have just bruised my foot in my sleep somehow. In college, I managed to sprain my knee in my sleep somehow once even. However when the lump did not go down after a few weeks, I saw the need to be concerned.

I saw a doctor in Berkeley and surgery was recommended indefiniately. However when I found out that it was probably not for something that was a pressing manner, I decided to have surgery done this summer. With my class schedule and my primary doctor at the Mayo Clinic's schedule, it took me awhile to get in to see the doctor. Once I saw the doctor, when she saw the placement of this lump she said that she was not sure if it was something that general surgery could do or if it needed to be done by people in foot surgery. In inquiring, both places thought it was the other persons responsiblity with the placement on my foot. It isnt an internal problem, said foot surgery, therefore it should be general surgery. General surgery said that if it was on my foot, it should be the foot surgery's department. They argued for a good half hour before they gave me an appointment for general surgery. My doctor did not want me to come to Rochester from St. Paul only to be told that I had to see the other department. However when general surgery took one look at my foot they told me that they could not operate on it because there are a lot of nerves on my foot that could be ruined by a doctor with whom feet was not their speciality.

So I tried to get an appointment with foot surgery after having my foot xrayed. They told me that they could give me something at the end of August. Knowing that I would be back in Berkeley by that time I told them that it was not possible. They switched things around and gave me an appointment for the end of July, warning me not to expect to get anything dealt with anytime soon as it was only a presurgical appointment. Is there any way to get in sooner, I asked. They told me that what I could do was come in in the morning as a "checker". This meant being someone with an appointment scheduled but not scheduled for that day. And then if there was any time they would take me in. I asked what the chances were if I did this that I would get in sooner. They told me a slim 50-50 chance. So for two days, I camped out at the Mayo Clinic with coffee in one hand and my Bible (studying for my prophets class) in the other. I finally got in to see a doctor about two weeks ago.

When he showed me my x-ray he told me that it was not any internal problem with the foot. As a result, I may need to be warned that there is a chance that it could be cancer. Do I want to have an MRI to rule out the possibility of cancer he asked or do I want to just have the lump removed he asked. I asked him what he would do if he were me, he told me that he would reccommend having an MRI before having the lump removed. They were able to get me in for an MRI later that afternoon, so I found myself reminscing about being a chaplain at Mayo Clinic for a seminary requirement that afternoon. Honestly, on one hand I was not too worried. I knew it was not cancer as I remembered getting sick in college and being brought into ER. I had a dream that I had pnuemonia afew nights before. The doctors thought that my symptoms pointed to mono. But when I told them I was worried that it might be pneumonia they gave me an x-ray to sooth my soul. And it turned out that I honestly did have pneumonia. Between that and many other little things in which I seem to have a 6th sense about things in general, I really was not too worried about cancer. I know myself where I would have instinctively known somehow that something was wrong. And I think I would have had more symptoms than that if it was cancer. Even though I had all of these things in my favor knowing that it was not cancer, there is something that seems to invoke fear when a medical authority brings up that word. To sooth myself, I found myself imagining that I was a chaplain in this situation. I went in for the MRI.

The result of the MRI was that I did not have cancer but that I did have a cyst on my foot that needs to be removed. So, tommorrow I am having a presurgical appointment. This Thursday I will have surgery on my foot.

I am going to be glad to get rid of the lump on my foot. Honestly, it has been a pain literally. However I have tried for it not to inhibit my living life. So I have resorted to wearing shoes that cover my foot entirely or wearing sandals for awhile. In Berkeley I would often try to hop around on one foot in the dorms when no one was looking and then pretending that nothing was wrong when people did see me. I love to swim and so I never let it stop me at all. But this meant that I had to pop alot of ibprofen in order to survive. For teaching parish I often wore shoes with a bit of a heel so that hurt. Also, the foot that I drive with is the foot that the lump is on. The placement of it hurts quite a bit.

I have not wanted to let it get in the way of my enjoying life this summer by any means. I have been to a few museums, I walk to the library whenever possible and I love to swim. I have never really wanted to let the pain of it hold me back. I have enjoyed being active and social quite a bit this summer. So I will be releived for it to come off because I have been living with the pain for quite some time.

However I am a little nervous as to what the surgery could bring as well. While it is a minor outpatient surgery, I will confess that I am nervous about how it could slow me down potentially. I realize that I do not have a lot of time in the Twin Cities. I had originally hoped to volunteer at the Fringe Festival to get free tickets and to meet cool artistic people. However that starts the same day as surgery and I did not want to make any promises that I could not keep as I was told I will be in a lot of pain. So I contacted the volunteer coordinators for that to let them know I could no longer do that. Since it is the foot that I drive with as well I am a little worried about how this could potentially impact my social life, as I realize that there are a lot of people that I want to spend more time with in my limited time left in Minnesota. It is kind of bringing out a desire to be here a lot longer than I am here for. Swimming several times a week is one of the things that keeps me sane. As a result, I am worried that this could be taken away from me as well as it is frequently one of my sanity points. I think that I am not so nervous about the surgery itself as much as the ramifications that the surgery could bring about. For someone who considers herself pretty introverted, the realization of the priorities to be physically active and social are there. So prayers in this regard are needed. Also, prayers to make sure that the surgery goes okay are requested as well. While I have faith that it is going to be sucessful, I am aware that things could still potentially go wrong as well. So prayers for that are needed as well.

In perspective I realize that this is not so bad in contrast to having been hospitalized for a month and being in a wheelchair and a halo only about 4 years ago as well. This perspective helps me quite a bit in many regards. Yet I realize how much I really value taking charge of my life as much as possible and this is something that I can not take charge of much. So prayers are requested. I will keep you all posted on how things turn out, but please pray for me right now with this upcoming surgery.