Seven years ago, I was a junior at Luther College. I had a serious boyfriend, who I met at camp. He wanted desperately to marry me. Around this same time, I had gotten really into working with the anti-war movement on campus and Amnesty International. I found myself running with a group of activists in this time at Luther quite a bit. Here, I had met a dashing young man who shared this kind of passion that I had, and he wound up asking me on a date. I turned him down, although I wanted to say yes. This is when I heard about the School of Americas (see www.soaw.org) through my work with Amnesty. I went in a group to go to the protest in Fort Benning, Georgia because I felt like I had to. It was there that I found my sense of calling into ministry really and I felt really fueled by this vision that I had for the world.
Although there was a lot of confusion at this period of time as well---I had worked hard on my voice and I did not make the choir that I had hoped to make that particular year. It was that year that I declared the major that I wound up sticking with (after alot of deliberation) in sociology. I found myself torn between all kinds of things as I was deliberating what kind of career I would pursue. I found my heart torn between my love for the arts and my passion to want to make the world a better place. I found myself rejecting the models of Christianity that I had experienced at camp. All of this was confusing for me. I also found my heart torn in a variety of directions in manners of romance. It broke my heart that the man who wanted to marry me was not supportive of this radical vision that I had for the world. It was hard to see that the person who did share my vision of the world was only really interested in one date at a point in time when I was not availible.
It was a very confusing period of time for me to be quite honest. Sometimes I think that my heart was actually never fully restored from this particular year until very recently in my time in seminary. However, in the midst of all of this confusion, sometime before Thanksgiving, I found myself falling asleep and I had a bizarre dream. I found myself dreaming that I lived in California and I was doing work with community organizing and nonviolence, and that I was married to a pastor with dark hair who spoke Spanish. (that's all I remember). I remember waking up with a start, thinking that if I did not resolve everything appropriately, that this is what I would wind up being. I think that I did not want to think that any of the work I was doing would end, that any of the people I was with I would part from, that I would have the audacity to go so far away from the midwest.
I forgot about this dream for a long time. I forgot about this confusion for a long time. A few days before Thanksgiving break this year, I had another dream. Suddenly I had flashed back in time to that year at Luther College. I remembered the confusion I had about my career, the heartache that I had from the events of lost friendship and romance over the choices that I had made, the lack of support from the camp community that had meant so much to me. It was like I was reliving everything very vividly.
I wondered if the variety of events that had taken place this semester had triggered this, along with the fact that most of the significant drama had taken place at this point in time in the year. I could not help but think of the fact that Barack Obama is the president elect. I could not help but think of the fact that I am working at a parish that has been dedicated to a strong community organizing model of leadership and of dealing with social justice in their church's ministry. I could not help but think of the fact that at this parish I also sing in the choir where I am singing in German again for the first time in years. I could not help but think of the fact that I have tried dating again but can not seem to shake off my vision for the world in being a Christian dedicated to social justice and critical thinking. I could not help but think of the fact that I am working at Pace e Bene who is sent people to the School of Americas protest and is dedicated to nonviolence all around the world. All kinds of things could have triggered all of this.
For some reason although all of this stuff happened seven years ago, it suddenly seemed a lot more close to me now that it had previously with these variety of events that have taken place in my life. I found myself working through the reminents of some of these heartaches that I have taken with me through the years. But then I remembered that other dream that I had. The one that I mentioned about being in California. And now, I find myself having goosebumps. The goosebumps are at this particular realization: although it seemed like just a bizarre dream at the time, I found myself realizing that save the marrying the pastor and speaking Spanish, a large majority of this dream has already come true. At the time, I thought that it was a warning dream, but apparently it was one of my more prescient dreams.
And, its funny because I realize that for me that one of the next big steps in the work that I beleive in is actually learning Spanish. It would be important for both my interest in the missional church and in my passion for social justice to be quite honest. So while that part hasn't come true yet, I see the importance of it.
So in an odd way, I feel like I have finally acheived a certain level of healing from all of this that I think I thought I would never find. And I have this sense, that despite all of my protestations of being away from the midwest and being away from my seminary class that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. The whole thing seems a little eerie I suppose, but I think that I am on my way to fulfilling my life's ultimate destiny and I do not know if I ever really want to lose sight of this again. In an odd way, I feel like maybe I have fully found myself again and I have no clue how God is really going to use me or who is going to come my way. And I think this time, I have surrounded myself with people who are more mature. It has not been without heartache and disappointment at times, but I think that everyone I have met seems to be a lot more respectful.
And I realize that I am doing what God wants me to ultimately do. In reflecting over all of this, I think that I have found a sense of peace finally that I think I lost in 2001. I have looked for this for a long time, and I think I fiinally found it. It is here that I can say: hope does not disappoint.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Definition
It seems to me that so much of intellectual conversations revolve around the definition of a word that can be interpreted abstractly, ie. what is postmodernism, what is lutheranism, what is culture, what is marriage, etc. The more I learn the more I realize that there are no definite definitions as much as I feel like I am given the tools to understand the way that these kinds of things come about.
There are several ways to approach these conversations around words. One way is to really strive to understand how the other person's definition came to be. This is when you discover things like their life experiences, the books they have read, the people they have met and what their vision for the world is. Are they coming at the definition from a historical perspective? a sociological or anthropological perspective? From the perspective as a linguist or a writer? Are they coming at if from having experienced something first hand or from having seen someone else experience it? Are they coming at the definition as a realist, an optimist or a pessimist? I actually find it fascinating to see the kinds of things that make people come to the conclusions that they come to and to see the kinds of connecting points that they have.
The other way to approach this is to be able to defend your definition at all costs. This is when you think you know what your own defintion is and you will stand by it at all costs. And typically, it is our perception of an experience that we have had or have witnessed someone we care about go through that makes have the perceptions that we can not shake off at all. Sometimes we may not have thought we have experienced something but we may have read something or watched something that really resonated with us. These are the definitions that we will cling to the most. The real question becomes then, what is most important: to make sure your voice is heard or to make sure that you understand what the other person is saying??? My own opinion is that it is an attitude of discernment, and I would rather err on the end of understanding the other person than on trying to make sure that my perspective is taken as a fact.
I guess I am thinking about this in light of thinking about my classes, in light of thinking about ministry, in light of thinking about my family and my friendships. These kinds of thoughts can actually make someone's brain hurt a lot though because at what point are you not analyzing things if everything is subjective and needing some kind of a definition?? And yet these kinds of conversations can be a lot of fun if they are dealt with respectfully as well. The most stimulating kinds are when there is a mutual amount of give and take in these kinds of conversations. And before you know it, the conversation becomes a part of the collective experience that can make you draw a new definition as well if you are going to try to encompass that into the realm of opinion. Ouch! My brain hurts right now....
There are several ways to approach these conversations around words. One way is to really strive to understand how the other person's definition came to be. This is when you discover things like their life experiences, the books they have read, the people they have met and what their vision for the world is. Are they coming at the definition from a historical perspective? a sociological or anthropological perspective? From the perspective as a linguist or a writer? Are they coming at if from having experienced something first hand or from having seen someone else experience it? Are they coming at the definition as a realist, an optimist or a pessimist? I actually find it fascinating to see the kinds of things that make people come to the conclusions that they come to and to see the kinds of connecting points that they have.
The other way to approach this is to be able to defend your definition at all costs. This is when you think you know what your own defintion is and you will stand by it at all costs. And typically, it is our perception of an experience that we have had or have witnessed someone we care about go through that makes have the perceptions that we can not shake off at all. Sometimes we may not have thought we have experienced something but we may have read something or watched something that really resonated with us. These are the definitions that we will cling to the most. The real question becomes then, what is most important: to make sure your voice is heard or to make sure that you understand what the other person is saying??? My own opinion is that it is an attitude of discernment, and I would rather err on the end of understanding the other person than on trying to make sure that my perspective is taken as a fact.
I guess I am thinking about this in light of thinking about my classes, in light of thinking about ministry, in light of thinking about my family and my friendships. These kinds of thoughts can actually make someone's brain hurt a lot though because at what point are you not analyzing things if everything is subjective and needing some kind of a definition?? And yet these kinds of conversations can be a lot of fun if they are dealt with respectfully as well. The most stimulating kinds are when there is a mutual amount of give and take in these kinds of conversations. And before you know it, the conversation becomes a part of the collective experience that can make you draw a new definition as well if you are going to try to encompass that into the realm of opinion. Ouch! My brain hurts right now....
Sunday, November 30, 2008
What if Starbucks Marketed Like a Church? A Parable.
Hilarious and true....
Ironically, I saw this around the time that I introduced my parents to the PLTS worshipping community at someone else's prompt. Again on my list of things that I think forces the church to examine itself... Thanks mom for showing this to me!!!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Thanksgiving 2008
The top things I am thankful for this year:
My parents and my brother are visiting Berkeley this thanksgiving. I'm always thankful for my family, I think they are all wonderful. I am also thankful for my sister who is studying for the GREs this week.
Barack Obama won the presidential election.
Mission developing class this summer: I made new friends, new connections and had restored my sense of call to ordained ministry even if I am called to something more nonconventional.
Gas prices are going down.
My Pace e Bene Internship.
All the trips that I have made this past year: Chicago, Saint Paul, L.A. and Napa
Friendships that are maintained in spite of distance.
That I am still on my own two feet (its only been 4 years since my 2004 accident)
A really awesome teaching parish site. (which has also affirmed my call to ordained ministry)
The gift my singleness has given me of opportunities, friendships and personal growth. (although this does not mean that i would not refuse to be in a healthy relationship--i am just playing the thankful card right now)
I go to school on a goregous campus. (my family says that PLTS reminds them of Holden)
I do love the life of being a student: reading interesting things, going to interesting lectures, meeting interesting people and the opportunities to travel. Its easy to forget how much I love these things when I am overwhelmed by my debt load and a lack of sleep.
My family is so supportive to me.
I do have enough money for all of my living expenses and a little fun as a student (as long as nothing major happens.)
Last but not least: God is always good! Even in my times of struggle, God has worked it for good in my life.
My parents and my brother are visiting Berkeley this thanksgiving. I'm always thankful for my family, I think they are all wonderful. I am also thankful for my sister who is studying for the GREs this week.
Barack Obama won the presidential election.
Mission developing class this summer: I made new friends, new connections and had restored my sense of call to ordained ministry even if I am called to something more nonconventional.
Gas prices are going down.
My Pace e Bene Internship.
All the trips that I have made this past year: Chicago, Saint Paul, L.A. and Napa
Friendships that are maintained in spite of distance.
That I am still on my own two feet (its only been 4 years since my 2004 accident)
A really awesome teaching parish site. (which has also affirmed my call to ordained ministry)
The gift my singleness has given me of opportunities, friendships and personal growth. (although this does not mean that i would not refuse to be in a healthy relationship--i am just playing the thankful card right now)
I go to school on a goregous campus. (my family says that PLTS reminds them of Holden)
I do love the life of being a student: reading interesting things, going to interesting lectures, meeting interesting people and the opportunities to travel. Its easy to forget how much I love these things when I am overwhelmed by my debt load and a lack of sleep.
My family is so supportive to me.
I do have enough money for all of my living expenses and a little fun as a student (as long as nothing major happens.)
Last but not least: God is always good! Even in my times of struggle, God has worked it for good in my life.
Thanksgiving Sermon
My Thanksgiving sermon at my teaching parish:
Luke 17:11-19, Psalm 65
The lepers in this text asked Jesus for healing and Jesus granted it to them. There really were no strings attached to this gift that Jesus gave them. He did tell them to go show themselves to the priests. This was because it was priests that certified that people were healed. However, Jesus did not tell them “I will heal you only if you change your habits,” or “I will heal you only if you change your attitude.” Jesus gave the gift of healing to them unconditionally when the lepers asked him to have mercy on them. It was a gift that was given with no strings attached.
One of the commentaries that I read on this particular text posed the question: why rebuke the lepers for not returning when they were commanded to go and in that obedience the lepers were healed?
I can not help but wonder if Jesus felt disappointed that the other 9 did not take the time to come and say thank you.
In the first season of the television show “Desperate Housewives”, Bree Van De Kamp and her husband Rex are in marriage counseling together. Bree is a really good housewife, but her husband is accusing her of using housework as a means to not communicate her feelings more. Later, she goes and sees the counselor by herself. She gets into a conversation about Freud with her counselor. In this conversation, she says that Freud’s mother “had to do everything by hand, just back breaking work from sun up to sun down” in addition to making sacrifices. She poses the question to her counselor, “he saw how hard she worked. He saw what she did for him. Did he ever even think to say thank you? I doubt it.” Later, when she and her husband Rex are in counseling together the counselor looks at her husband and says “I am curious do you ever acknowledge the benefits of living with Bree? By your own admission, your home is always clean your clothes are always freshly pressed, she sounds like a wonderful cook, despite her flaws, do you ever remember to say thank you?”
At this, Bree smiles because that is what she wanted: to have someone say thank you for all the work that she is doing. She wondered if she was acknowledged by her husband for the work that she did for him. While she never demanded a thank you, a thank you would have been something that would have went a long way for her in acknowledging what she did do for her husband.
This may have been similar to what Jesus thought about the nine people who did not come back to thank him in this text. He probably was having that same sense of wondering if the other lepers acknowledged what he had just done for them with the gift of healing. A thank you was not mandatory however Jesus had just given these 10 lepers an amazing gift: the gift of healing.
Have you ever felt like Bree in thinking that the people you live with do not acknowledge the things you do for them? Have you ever given someone a gift that did not get a thank you? Have you ever spent time listening to someone or doing something for someone that you felt was not acknowledged? Perhaps this is how Jesus may have felt about the nine people that did not thank him for the healing. In any relationship, taking the other person for granted can weaken the relationship as the feeling of not being acknowledged can be painful. While taking time to thank the other person for what they do for us can help deepen the relationship. Jesus wanted more of a relationship with the other 9 lepers, and wants more of a relationship with us.
However one person came back to him and thanked him in our gospel story today. It was the Samaritan in the group that came back to thank him. The other 9 were more than likely Jews. The Samaritan was considered a foreigner. The fact that it was the Samaritan who came back to say thank you was not insignificant. The Samaritan was showing evidence of being grateful to what he was able to receive where he was living. The Samaritan made that extra step to show gratitude to Jesus. The psalm for today says, “Make a joyful noise to God, all the earth; sing glory of his name; give to him glorious praise. Say to God, How awesome are your deeds.” This is probably what the Samaritan did when he was at Jesus’ feet. This was significant for him and he felt the need to praise Jesus for this gift of healing. It was in his gratefulness that he was able to develop more of a relationship with Jesus as well. It is because he acknowledged Jesus and the wonderful powers Jesus had blessed him with. He was living out what the psalmist was feeling as well, “blessed be God, because he has not rejected my prayer.” His prayer and request were granted to him and he was glorifying Jesus. The other nine are the contrast to him because they took this gift that Jesus had given to them for granted.
At the time of Thanksgiving, we all are aware of the things in our lives that we are thankful for. As Christians, we take this a step further. We are not just thankful for things in our lives and looking for a special celebration. As Christians, we are thankful to God as well for being our creator and giving us the things in our lives. We do this because God desires to have a relationship with us, and this is one of the ways we strengthen our relationship with God: by giving thanks.
Yet Thanksgiving may not an easy time of year either. Holidays are difficult when poverty is in our own home. The current state of our economy may be leaving us wondering when poverty might hit us if it hasn’t hit us already which may make a holiday feel less festive than usual. Holidays can be a difficult time when we have experienced a family member’s death or separation or divorce from a significant other. It may be a painful time of year, so being asked to be thankful in the midst of a hurtful situation may be difficult.
But there is something that never changes that we can always be thankful for. God has given the gift of the son, Jesus Christ who died for the sake of our sins. This never changes, even if other things in our lives have changed. One of the ways that we are reminded of this gift is through the sacrament of baptism. We were lucky to be able to witness this was through Samantha’s baptism on Sunday, as we are able to think of God washing away our own sins as well. Thanking God for the gift of salvation through Jesus is showing gratitude for the ultimate gift of forgiveness which God has given us. It’s something we can always be thankful for even when its difficult to be thankful for other things.
God is also our creator. God made us and gave us the gift of life. This gift of creation is something else that we can be thankful for. God made this earth and everything in it. This includes flowers, trees, bodies of water and mountains, and countless other beautiful things. Acknowledging this gift of creation of our lives and the beauty of the earth is a way to show God how grateful that we are for what God has made.
God still gives other blessings in our lives as well. Today, I know that I am thankful to have family here today, to be a part of this Resurrection community, and that gas prices are going down. Take a moment and consider what you are thankful to God for today?
Try not let this attitude of thanking God for the blessings in your life be relegated to only one day. This may be challenging. Yet it can be simple as well. We can be thankful for our daily bread that we pray for in the Lord’s prayer. When Martin Luther answers what daily bread is he responds with a long list: “Everything that in the necessities and nourishment for our bodies, such as food, drink, clothing, shoes, house, farm, fields, livestock, money, property, a house, a spouse, children, faithful rulers, good government, good weather, peace, health, decency, honor, good friends, faithful neighbors and the like.” The daily bread of our lives are things that we can be continuously thankful for. It is through these gifts that we are able to live our lives. Acknowledging God for these basic gifts is a way to express our gratitude for the basic gift of life.
We say these words of thanks for the gift of God’s creation as a way to grow in our relationship with God. We say these words of thanks for the gifts of life as a way to deepen our friendship with God. Just as the leper who came back to say thank you for Jesus for this gift of healing had more of a chance to really have a relationship with God, we have more of a chance to continue to grow in our relationship with God when we say thank you. Thanking God for the ultimate gift of salvation through God’s son Jesus is the chance to thank God for the ultimate thing that God has done in our lives.
Having a sense of thanks is not only something that can be expressed in words, it can also be expressed in actions. When someone gives us a present that we are truly thankful for, we do not put it in the back of the closet where no one will see it. We take it out, and put it in the center of our lives for other people to see it. We do the same thing with the gifts that God has given us. We can extend this thankfulness we have to God to the way that we deal with the resources that God has given us. Pledging money in the commitment drive for our church this week or helping to put some food in the baskets for the hungry in our community are some ways that we show thanks to God. It can also be in our gift of our time as well, whether we are singing in the choir or participating in the local organizing committee or doing anything else that contributes to the life of this church or to the well being of the Oakland community that we are showing our thanks to god as well. This is a way that the gifts that God has given us is put to good use instead of keeping it to ourselves where other people may not be able to benefit from them. The using of these gifts is a way to express gratitude to God in our lives.
We can thank God in many ways in our words, in our actions. We thank God because God has given us the gifts that we do have in our lives. We thank God so that we might grow in our relationship with God. God is not only our creator but also our friend. How could we not be thankful to God for all of
Luke 17:11-19, Psalm 65
The lepers in this text asked Jesus for healing and Jesus granted it to them. There really were no strings attached to this gift that Jesus gave them. He did tell them to go show themselves to the priests. This was because it was priests that certified that people were healed. However, Jesus did not tell them “I will heal you only if you change your habits,” or “I will heal you only if you change your attitude.” Jesus gave the gift of healing to them unconditionally when the lepers asked him to have mercy on them. It was a gift that was given with no strings attached.
One of the commentaries that I read on this particular text posed the question: why rebuke the lepers for not returning when they were commanded to go and in that obedience the lepers were healed?
I can not help but wonder if Jesus felt disappointed that the other 9 did not take the time to come and say thank you.
In the first season of the television show “Desperate Housewives”, Bree Van De Kamp and her husband Rex are in marriage counseling together. Bree is a really good housewife, but her husband is accusing her of using housework as a means to not communicate her feelings more. Later, she goes and sees the counselor by herself. She gets into a conversation about Freud with her counselor. In this conversation, she says that Freud’s mother “had to do everything by hand, just back breaking work from sun up to sun down” in addition to making sacrifices. She poses the question to her counselor, “he saw how hard she worked. He saw what she did for him. Did he ever even think to say thank you? I doubt it.” Later, when she and her husband Rex are in counseling together the counselor looks at her husband and says “I am curious do you ever acknowledge the benefits of living with Bree? By your own admission, your home is always clean your clothes are always freshly pressed, she sounds like a wonderful cook, despite her flaws, do you ever remember to say thank you?”
At this, Bree smiles because that is what she wanted: to have someone say thank you for all the work that she is doing. She wondered if she was acknowledged by her husband for the work that she did for him. While she never demanded a thank you, a thank you would have been something that would have went a long way for her in acknowledging what she did do for her husband.
This may have been similar to what Jesus thought about the nine people who did not come back to thank him in this text. He probably was having that same sense of wondering if the other lepers acknowledged what he had just done for them with the gift of healing. A thank you was not mandatory however Jesus had just given these 10 lepers an amazing gift: the gift of healing.
Have you ever felt like Bree in thinking that the people you live with do not acknowledge the things you do for them? Have you ever given someone a gift that did not get a thank you? Have you ever spent time listening to someone or doing something for someone that you felt was not acknowledged? Perhaps this is how Jesus may have felt about the nine people that did not thank him for the healing. In any relationship, taking the other person for granted can weaken the relationship as the feeling of not being acknowledged can be painful. While taking time to thank the other person for what they do for us can help deepen the relationship. Jesus wanted more of a relationship with the other 9 lepers, and wants more of a relationship with us.
However one person came back to him and thanked him in our gospel story today. It was the Samaritan in the group that came back to thank him. The other 9 were more than likely Jews. The Samaritan was considered a foreigner. The fact that it was the Samaritan who came back to say thank you was not insignificant. The Samaritan was showing evidence of being grateful to what he was able to receive where he was living. The Samaritan made that extra step to show gratitude to Jesus. The psalm for today says, “Make a joyful noise to God, all the earth; sing glory of his name; give to him glorious praise. Say to God, How awesome are your deeds.” This is probably what the Samaritan did when he was at Jesus’ feet. This was significant for him and he felt the need to praise Jesus for this gift of healing. It was in his gratefulness that he was able to develop more of a relationship with Jesus as well. It is because he acknowledged Jesus and the wonderful powers Jesus had blessed him with. He was living out what the psalmist was feeling as well, “blessed be God, because he has not rejected my prayer.” His prayer and request were granted to him and he was glorifying Jesus. The other nine are the contrast to him because they took this gift that Jesus had given to them for granted.
At the time of Thanksgiving, we all are aware of the things in our lives that we are thankful for. As Christians, we take this a step further. We are not just thankful for things in our lives and looking for a special celebration. As Christians, we are thankful to God as well for being our creator and giving us the things in our lives. We do this because God desires to have a relationship with us, and this is one of the ways we strengthen our relationship with God: by giving thanks.
Yet Thanksgiving may not an easy time of year either. Holidays are difficult when poverty is in our own home. The current state of our economy may be leaving us wondering when poverty might hit us if it hasn’t hit us already which may make a holiday feel less festive than usual. Holidays can be a difficult time when we have experienced a family member’s death or separation or divorce from a significant other. It may be a painful time of year, so being asked to be thankful in the midst of a hurtful situation may be difficult.
But there is something that never changes that we can always be thankful for. God has given the gift of the son, Jesus Christ who died for the sake of our sins. This never changes, even if other things in our lives have changed. One of the ways that we are reminded of this gift is through the sacrament of baptism. We were lucky to be able to witness this was through Samantha’s baptism on Sunday, as we are able to think of God washing away our own sins as well. Thanking God for the gift of salvation through Jesus is showing gratitude for the ultimate gift of forgiveness which God has given us. It’s something we can always be thankful for even when its difficult to be thankful for other things.
God is also our creator. God made us and gave us the gift of life. This gift of creation is something else that we can be thankful for. God made this earth and everything in it. This includes flowers, trees, bodies of water and mountains, and countless other beautiful things. Acknowledging this gift of creation of our lives and the beauty of the earth is a way to show God how grateful that we are for what God has made.
God still gives other blessings in our lives as well. Today, I know that I am thankful to have family here today, to be a part of this Resurrection community, and that gas prices are going down. Take a moment and consider what you are thankful to God for today?
Try not let this attitude of thanking God for the blessings in your life be relegated to only one day. This may be challenging. Yet it can be simple as well. We can be thankful for our daily bread that we pray for in the Lord’s prayer. When Martin Luther answers what daily bread is he responds with a long list: “Everything that in the necessities and nourishment for our bodies, such as food, drink, clothing, shoes, house, farm, fields, livestock, money, property, a house, a spouse, children, faithful rulers, good government, good weather, peace, health, decency, honor, good friends, faithful neighbors and the like.” The daily bread of our lives are things that we can be continuously thankful for. It is through these gifts that we are able to live our lives. Acknowledging God for these basic gifts is a way to express our gratitude for the basic gift of life.
We say these words of thanks for the gift of God’s creation as a way to grow in our relationship with God. We say these words of thanks for the gifts of life as a way to deepen our friendship with God. Just as the leper who came back to say thank you for Jesus for this gift of healing had more of a chance to really have a relationship with God, we have more of a chance to continue to grow in our relationship with God when we say thank you. Thanking God for the ultimate gift of salvation through God’s son Jesus is the chance to thank God for the ultimate thing that God has done in our lives.
Having a sense of thanks is not only something that can be expressed in words, it can also be expressed in actions. When someone gives us a present that we are truly thankful for, we do not put it in the back of the closet where no one will see it. We take it out, and put it in the center of our lives for other people to see it. We do the same thing with the gifts that God has given us. We can extend this thankfulness we have to God to the way that we deal with the resources that God has given us. Pledging money in the commitment drive for our church this week or helping to put some food in the baskets for the hungry in our community are some ways that we show thanks to God. It can also be in our gift of our time as well, whether we are singing in the choir or participating in the local organizing committee or doing anything else that contributes to the life of this church or to the well being of the Oakland community that we are showing our thanks to god as well. This is a way that the gifts that God has given us is put to good use instead of keeping it to ourselves where other people may not be able to benefit from them. The using of these gifts is a way to express gratitude to God in our lives.
We can thank God in many ways in our words, in our actions. We thank God because God has given us the gifts that we do have in our lives. We thank God so that we might grow in our relationship with God. God is not only our creator but also our friend. How could we not be thankful to God for all of
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Just War????
I just posted this on my Pace e Bene Blog:
For an education hour at my church, I am going to be leading a discussion on the just war theory, faith and Iraq this upcoming Sunday. The ELCA supports the just war theory in regards to war. These are the things that constitute the “just war” theory:
o When it is in response to the perpetration of a real injury
o When it is declared by legitimate public authority
o When there are right intentions
o When the goal of waging war is to restore a situation of peace
o When it is a last resort, after exhausting other reasonable means of peaceful settlement.
o When the overall damage caused by war will not exceed the original injury suffered/proportionality of the ends
o When there is a probability of success; there is a reasonable hope that the purpose for going to war can be successfully accomplished.
o When there is a public declaration of the reasons for waging war/public declaration
o When war targets only noncombatants
o When the war only uses means proportionate to the value of the target
I find it interesting that a lot of these stipulations seem very subjective. How do we determine right intentions? How do we measure the last resort? How can we determine the probability of success???
Personally, I think that these terms can be defined in a way that would make a war sound “just” even if it is not. Because of how subjective a lot of these things are, I am not sure if the just war theory is truly a path to justice. These things can be defined in a way that support’s one’s own self interest instead of in a way that really makes people think critically about the other. Nonviolence has a lot of principles that embrace thinking about the other in a loving, respectful way. I do not think that it can be skewed the same way that the just war theory can be.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Decisions, Decisions
I have made a very difficult decision recently, and well, please read my entire posting before you respond as it is a little more complicated than it sounds originally.
I had made the decision to do the Luther Seminary exchange program for next January term and Spring semester. PLTS and Luther are in the "western mission cluster" (the title humors me, but it is true). This allows people at Luther to do coursework at PLTS and people at PLTS to do coursework at Luther. This sounded like a very appealing decision to make for multiple reasons:
1) I am interested in mission developing. Even if I do not fiind myself becoming a mission developer, I think that these are important skills to emphasize to even help revitalize a congregation. (although i think actually starting a church from scratch will have fewer politics to navigate in having a missional focus than in revitalizing a congregation, it still does not negate that i think that these are important skills to have). I found myself really resonating with the idea of a missionaly oriented church more than merely trying to find ways to keep the people who are faithfuly attending a dying church happy. There are more classes at Luther than at PLTS in this regard, even if there are professors who are begining to consider this in their approach at the PLTS campus.
2) It is REALLY expensive to be in the bay area. I thought that I could reduce some of my spending by living in walking distance to my classes, to a seminary library, to a public library, to a coffee shop, to a grocery store. I do take a bus down to my classes at the Graduate Theological Union because they police parking meters so well that if you are off by a minute or two you get a $30 parking ticket. In trying to take advantage of resources by the GTU when the looper (the van that goes between PLTS and the GTU) was not running earlier this semester, I was continously hit with parking tickets. This has been motivation however to not take advantage of the GTU library as I tend to get lost in thought when I study.
Suddenly finding a parking lot by the university that charges me by the hour may seem more expensive to park, but I tend to get lost in thought easily. A lot of shops and resteraunts validate the ticket to the parking ramp around there. It does not mean that it is free, but it slashes the bill in half. So it becomes motivation to get some shopping done or to grab a bite to eat somewhere as there are many places that I can grab a bite to eat for under $10 around there. While it is still not entirely thrifty, I am maximizing my dollars more when I do this. When I do not do this, I go to a shopping mall in a nearby town and buy a cup of tea where I can get free parking. However I do not like this option as well as when I am at the university area because at the university I head to the swimming pool as a study break or as a reward, and I am more likely to support independently owned businesses when I do choose to do my errands around there.
3) My class is on internship this year. There were the people that I did feel like I clicked with better than I did others. However, even with the people that I did not "click" with in a certain way they did become like brothers and sisters to me. There is a certain level of commradity that I felt in having the same classes, in going through the same process with my class. And I worked with some of these people very closely and I also shared a kitchen space with some of these people. There is a familiarity that occurred and I felt like I became friends with them in a certain way still. I realize that I actually miss these people like crazy. I did go to LA to hang out with one young man that I felt like I got along very well with over my reading week, who I feel is like a long lost brother to me. I am trying to keep in touch with people via facebook and phone calls whenever possible. But it is still not the same. By the time I am on my internship, they will be back at PLTS for their final year. I feel like I am kind of going through a shifting of relationships and seeing which people I really will keep in touch with on a personal level and which people I will be happy to see at conferences and synod assemblies but not maybe keeping in touch on a more personal level. I grieve not having these people be a part of my life on a more regular basis.
4) In that same vain, I have also felt that way of all of you in Minnesota! I realize that I do have a lot of connections in Minnesota as well. I honestly feel bad that I have not been as good at keeping in touch as I would like to. The time difference sometimes makes me reticent to try to call many of you at the end of my day. And it would be very nice to see you all in person more as well. I realize that Minnesota is home to me and that it is hard to see California as home with having my class be gone.
5) The Twin Cities feels safer and more accessible. In the Twin Cities, I know where to get a beer for only $2, where I could walk to a public library for free and I scrounged the city pages for things to do for free or low cost. I have had a harder time finding these kinds of items in the bay area, I havent found a public library close to any of my usual stops, the equivalent of the city pages is only for San Fransisco which is an hour away and $8 for a BART ticket and there are parts of San Fran that I just refuse to walk alone. I do not think that the Twin Cities is perfect, but it does feel more geographically accessible and safer than San Fran does.
6) I do not feel like dorm life has worked as well for me this year as it has in previously. I enjoy being around people and activity quite a bit, but I identify with introversion in terms of the way I recharge and process things. Living in an apartment with the mentality for hospitality was a lot more appealing to me than living in a dorm where I am trying to coexist with people I didn't even choose to be in a living space with. Its more exhausting--- retreat and invitation are important to me in my sense of a home space.
+So, for all of these reasons, I began to get really excited about this prospect. I had been in communication with the registrar at my school about doing this, and it sounded like it was going to work. However, apparently they only allow up to a year of what can be done through the seminary exchange program at Luther. Since I had done summer school this summer, it needed to be counted toward the load that I am allowed to do. I am supposed to come back for 1-2 classes when I am done with internship next year and even though I enjoy Berkeley, for all of the reasons I just mentioned I thought it would be easier to do it at Luther. And I was told that it could work if I did my January term at the GTU and then did my other courses at Luther. Well, the main point was that I had elective hours left that I wanted to do in courses like mission of the triune God and contemporary worship issues. Suddenly, I realized as excited as I felt about this prospect, if I was not able to take the kinds of classes that I was hoping to in the exchange program that all the other things that I was excited about were icing on the cake, and not primary items. Registration for spring semester came around the corner and I was able to register for a systematics class at the Methodist seminary called Mission Impossible, discussing things like colonalizm and evangelism and pluralism from the lens of systematic theology. I was able to register for a class on indigenous spirituality at the unitarian seminary, a class on corinthians at the dominican seminary, an elective on conversion at the Methodist seminary--the only class I have to take at PLTS is Christian Ethics. Suddenly, I realized that I kind of was able to find classes at the GTU that were similar to my interest in mission that I would not even have the opportunity to do if I did the Luther Seminary semester.
While I am excited about my classes, I will admit to being disappointed about the more social aspect of all of this. As a previous blog mentioned, I feel lonely this year. Not being around my class is part of it. The other part of it I think is my schedule and the fact that I am frequently gone or way too tired when social events are going on around campus. I am pursuing finding a therapist and giving internet dating a shot, I think these things could help me in my more introverted preferences. (I have more fun in small groups and 1 on 1 settings than I do in larger groups). However, I am also considering very seriously that as much as I love my work with Pace e Bene maybe what I need is to have fewer items on my plate for next semester as well. I am discerning how to handle this. The thing is that I would be able to put more energy into my schoolwork and have more opportunity to get to know the people around me if I was not going and coming all the time to Oakland. I realize that while I have not felt overly happy with the social connections I have at PLTS this year (see people hearing without listening: oct 3) that maybe my schedule has not allowed me to give these connections more of the chance that they may deserve. While this could be hit or miss, I would also get more time for myself as well. Because the other big thing is if I do not get a horizon internship site (which I interviewed for last week) that I would probably be doing interviews for other internship sites next semester as well. And honestly, it is only a few extra months out in Berkeley.
I realized that it won't be so bad because:
1) I am taking most of my classes down at the GTU which sound exciting both in terms of the class content and the interreligious dialogue that occurs.
2) While the cost of living is kind of high around here, at least a good bottle of wine is affordable here unlike in the midwest
3) I will be able to swim outside in January
4) I will be done with teaching parish, which although I love the site that I am at, will give me aprox. 10 more hours in my week when I consider prep time, supervision, transportation and Sundays. I will have more time.
5) I am in favor of homosexual marriage and that this is more of a unanimous mentality at PLTS, and I think its more of a dividing issue at Luther.
6) Who doesn't want to visit a family member or friend in California to go to Napa????
7) I appreciate the diversity of ethnicities around the area with the university and the GTU, and I might find myself beginning to pick up some Spanish which I have always wanted to do
8) Maybe some of my newer acquaintances will develop into friendships
9) It seriously is not that long until the year is over and I am on internship...kind of a scary thought too
10) There is nothing like walking down Telegraph Ave. on a weekend. Street vendors are very interesting people to talk to. There are sometimes random concerts and parties going on that are free and open to the public. Bookstores are not just places to buy books but also where events take place. While I have not soaked up all the possibilities of the resource of the university, these are some of the things that come to mind when I think about the random fun I have found around that area.
11) One of the things that I think makes the bay area unique is the attention to health and wellness in addition to education and culture. Its not just a mentality that takes place around the schools, but its very much a flavor of the way people continously live their lives. This is something that I find that I fit right into.
So there are some aspects of this that won't be that bad. It takes away the weirdness of the teaching parish supervisor at the parish that did not work out very well hanging out around the campus. It takes away the weirdness of the last man who articulated a desire to date me (who I actually refused) is now married. (it is for the better, it just feels weird as i think that i am in more of a place to date now than i was then). It takes away from all of the other aspects that I am disappointed about. The possiblity of spending next summer in the Twin Cities is there as well, which helps. It is really a mixed bag right now. However I trust it will be good.
Honestly, I was not sure about this for a few days. But then when Obama won the presidential election, I felt like if there is hope for our country now, that there is hope for me as well. The odd thing is that despite these disappointments i trust that it is going to work out for the good. The frusteration is that I can not see in to a crystal ball about this, but it makes life stay seemingly interesting as well. And yet I have this odd sense of peace that everything is goign to turn out the way it is supposed to turn out. It will be good, I just do not know why yet. God, grant me patience is my next prayer. In the meantime, I could use prayers in all of these regards! Please keep in touch! I miss you all!
I had made the decision to do the Luther Seminary exchange program for next January term and Spring semester. PLTS and Luther are in the "western mission cluster" (the title humors me, but it is true). This allows people at Luther to do coursework at PLTS and people at PLTS to do coursework at Luther. This sounded like a very appealing decision to make for multiple reasons:
1) I am interested in mission developing. Even if I do not fiind myself becoming a mission developer, I think that these are important skills to emphasize to even help revitalize a congregation. (although i think actually starting a church from scratch will have fewer politics to navigate in having a missional focus than in revitalizing a congregation, it still does not negate that i think that these are important skills to have). I found myself really resonating with the idea of a missionaly oriented church more than merely trying to find ways to keep the people who are faithfuly attending a dying church happy. There are more classes at Luther than at PLTS in this regard, even if there are professors who are begining to consider this in their approach at the PLTS campus.
2) It is REALLY expensive to be in the bay area. I thought that I could reduce some of my spending by living in walking distance to my classes, to a seminary library, to a public library, to a coffee shop, to a grocery store. I do take a bus down to my classes at the Graduate Theological Union because they police parking meters so well that if you are off by a minute or two you get a $30 parking ticket. In trying to take advantage of resources by the GTU when the looper (the van that goes between PLTS and the GTU) was not running earlier this semester, I was continously hit with parking tickets. This has been motivation however to not take advantage of the GTU library as I tend to get lost in thought when I study.
Suddenly finding a parking lot by the university that charges me by the hour may seem more expensive to park, but I tend to get lost in thought easily. A lot of shops and resteraunts validate the ticket to the parking ramp around there. It does not mean that it is free, but it slashes the bill in half. So it becomes motivation to get some shopping done or to grab a bite to eat somewhere as there are many places that I can grab a bite to eat for under $10 around there. While it is still not entirely thrifty, I am maximizing my dollars more when I do this. When I do not do this, I go to a shopping mall in a nearby town and buy a cup of tea where I can get free parking. However I do not like this option as well as when I am at the university area because at the university I head to the swimming pool as a study break or as a reward, and I am more likely to support independently owned businesses when I do choose to do my errands around there.
3) My class is on internship this year. There were the people that I did feel like I clicked with better than I did others. However, even with the people that I did not "click" with in a certain way they did become like brothers and sisters to me. There is a certain level of commradity that I felt in having the same classes, in going through the same process with my class. And I worked with some of these people very closely and I also shared a kitchen space with some of these people. There is a familiarity that occurred and I felt like I became friends with them in a certain way still. I realize that I actually miss these people like crazy. I did go to LA to hang out with one young man that I felt like I got along very well with over my reading week, who I feel is like a long lost brother to me. I am trying to keep in touch with people via facebook and phone calls whenever possible. But it is still not the same. By the time I am on my internship, they will be back at PLTS for their final year. I feel like I am kind of going through a shifting of relationships and seeing which people I really will keep in touch with on a personal level and which people I will be happy to see at conferences and synod assemblies but not maybe keeping in touch on a more personal level. I grieve not having these people be a part of my life on a more regular basis.
4) In that same vain, I have also felt that way of all of you in Minnesota! I realize that I do have a lot of connections in Minnesota as well. I honestly feel bad that I have not been as good at keeping in touch as I would like to. The time difference sometimes makes me reticent to try to call many of you at the end of my day. And it would be very nice to see you all in person more as well. I realize that Minnesota is home to me and that it is hard to see California as home with having my class be gone.
5) The Twin Cities feels safer and more accessible. In the Twin Cities, I know where to get a beer for only $2, where I could walk to a public library for free and I scrounged the city pages for things to do for free or low cost. I have had a harder time finding these kinds of items in the bay area, I havent found a public library close to any of my usual stops, the equivalent of the city pages is only for San Fransisco which is an hour away and $8 for a BART ticket and there are parts of San Fran that I just refuse to walk alone. I do not think that the Twin Cities is perfect, but it does feel more geographically accessible and safer than San Fran does.
6) I do not feel like dorm life has worked as well for me this year as it has in previously. I enjoy being around people and activity quite a bit, but I identify with introversion in terms of the way I recharge and process things. Living in an apartment with the mentality for hospitality was a lot more appealing to me than living in a dorm where I am trying to coexist with people I didn't even choose to be in a living space with. Its more exhausting--- retreat and invitation are important to me in my sense of a home space.
+So, for all of these reasons, I began to get really excited about this prospect. I had been in communication with the registrar at my school about doing this, and it sounded like it was going to work. However, apparently they only allow up to a year of what can be done through the seminary exchange program at Luther. Since I had done summer school this summer, it needed to be counted toward the load that I am allowed to do. I am supposed to come back for 1-2 classes when I am done with internship next year and even though I enjoy Berkeley, for all of the reasons I just mentioned I thought it would be easier to do it at Luther. And I was told that it could work if I did my January term at the GTU and then did my other courses at Luther. Well, the main point was that I had elective hours left that I wanted to do in courses like mission of the triune God and contemporary worship issues. Suddenly, I realized as excited as I felt about this prospect, if I was not able to take the kinds of classes that I was hoping to in the exchange program that all the other things that I was excited about were icing on the cake, and not primary items. Registration for spring semester came around the corner and I was able to register for a systematics class at the Methodist seminary called Mission Impossible, discussing things like colonalizm and evangelism and pluralism from the lens of systematic theology. I was able to register for a class on indigenous spirituality at the unitarian seminary, a class on corinthians at the dominican seminary, an elective on conversion at the Methodist seminary--the only class I have to take at PLTS is Christian Ethics. Suddenly, I realized that I kind of was able to find classes at the GTU that were similar to my interest in mission that I would not even have the opportunity to do if I did the Luther Seminary semester.
While I am excited about my classes, I will admit to being disappointed about the more social aspect of all of this. As a previous blog mentioned, I feel lonely this year. Not being around my class is part of it. The other part of it I think is my schedule and the fact that I am frequently gone or way too tired when social events are going on around campus. I am pursuing finding a therapist and giving internet dating a shot, I think these things could help me in my more introverted preferences. (I have more fun in small groups and 1 on 1 settings than I do in larger groups). However, I am also considering very seriously that as much as I love my work with Pace e Bene maybe what I need is to have fewer items on my plate for next semester as well. I am discerning how to handle this. The thing is that I would be able to put more energy into my schoolwork and have more opportunity to get to know the people around me if I was not going and coming all the time to Oakland. I realize that while I have not felt overly happy with the social connections I have at PLTS this year (see people hearing without listening: oct 3) that maybe my schedule has not allowed me to give these connections more of the chance that they may deserve. While this could be hit or miss, I would also get more time for myself as well. Because the other big thing is if I do not get a horizon internship site (which I interviewed for last week) that I would probably be doing interviews for other internship sites next semester as well. And honestly, it is only a few extra months out in Berkeley.
I realized that it won't be so bad because:
1) I am taking most of my classes down at the GTU which sound exciting both in terms of the class content and the interreligious dialogue that occurs.
2) While the cost of living is kind of high around here, at least a good bottle of wine is affordable here unlike in the midwest
3) I will be able to swim outside in January
4) I will be done with teaching parish, which although I love the site that I am at, will give me aprox. 10 more hours in my week when I consider prep time, supervision, transportation and Sundays. I will have more time.
5) I am in favor of homosexual marriage and that this is more of a unanimous mentality at PLTS, and I think its more of a dividing issue at Luther.
6) Who doesn't want to visit a family member or friend in California to go to Napa????
7) I appreciate the diversity of ethnicities around the area with the university and the GTU, and I might find myself beginning to pick up some Spanish which I have always wanted to do
8) Maybe some of my newer acquaintances will develop into friendships
9) It seriously is not that long until the year is over and I am on internship...kind of a scary thought too
10) There is nothing like walking down Telegraph Ave. on a weekend. Street vendors are very interesting people to talk to. There are sometimes random concerts and parties going on that are free and open to the public. Bookstores are not just places to buy books but also where events take place. While I have not soaked up all the possibilities of the resource of the university, these are some of the things that come to mind when I think about the random fun I have found around that area.
11) One of the things that I think makes the bay area unique is the attention to health and wellness in addition to education and culture. Its not just a mentality that takes place around the schools, but its very much a flavor of the way people continously live their lives. This is something that I find that I fit right into.
So there are some aspects of this that won't be that bad. It takes away the weirdness of the teaching parish supervisor at the parish that did not work out very well hanging out around the campus. It takes away the weirdness of the last man who articulated a desire to date me (who I actually refused) is now married. (it is for the better, it just feels weird as i think that i am in more of a place to date now than i was then). It takes away from all of the other aspects that I am disappointed about. The possiblity of spending next summer in the Twin Cities is there as well, which helps. It is really a mixed bag right now. However I trust it will be good.
Honestly, I was not sure about this for a few days. But then when Obama won the presidential election, I felt like if there is hope for our country now, that there is hope for me as well. The odd thing is that despite these disappointments i trust that it is going to work out for the good. The frusteration is that I can not see in to a crystal ball about this, but it makes life stay seemingly interesting as well. And yet I have this odd sense of peace that everything is goign to turn out the way it is supposed to turn out. It will be good, I just do not know why yet. God, grant me patience is my next prayer. In the meantime, I could use prayers in all of these regards! Please keep in touch! I miss you all!
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