Sex and the City: Me Likey

I have a new addiction: The TV show Sex and the City as I have been netflixing it quite a bit lately. I love to watch movies, but there is something about TV shows on DVD that is almost easier to do in smaller chunks like I need to as a student. And while the Sex and the City movie was disappointing, I think that the television show is brilliant.

For a long time, I thought that I did not like the show all that much. I have had some major critiques of the show before, which still are not invalid criticisms of the show:

1) Feminism goes shopping. Seriously, there are women (like me) who could care less if they wear clothing from Dolce and Gabbana or have a Prada bag, etc. I will admit that although I do find myself wearing things that are kind of trendy from time to time that my fashion sense tends to be more "classic" or "conservative" but I almost prefer to find my clothes at the cheapest place possible to buy them. And I would rather spend my time going and doing things that are worthwhile instead of shopping. I tend to be more of the type of gal who goes to the bookstore cafe to buy a cheap cup of tea and sit there speed reading books I would not be willing to buy then to go off to shop for clothes. In that same vain, most single women around my age simply can not afford to go out as much as the women on the show are portrayed as doing.

2) How frank the women are with each other about sex. Honestly, not many women really sit around discussing sex in groups of friends the way that they do. The level the conversation is often brought to in off screen world is generally seen of as socially inappropriate even amongst women who do consider themselves friends, despite the fact that it is a concern. Seeing this as a norm on the screen can make women feel resentful that they do not have those kinds of relationships with other women.

3) How the women do not discuss the arts, politics, community concerns intellectual pursuits amongst each other. They seem so absorbed in fashion and sex and what is "hip" to the degree that makes one wonder if they are capable of really looking outside of themselves more. (However, I am not sure if simplicity in the city or chastity in the city would have appealed to the marketing for the show the same way)

4) The assumption that being single in the city=sex in the city. Well, maybe I do have the biased perspective of my choice of career. I think that there is a broad spectrum as to how to handle sexuality and being single. The show holds up a picture of a very laizze fare approach to sexuality in general. I think that most adults just do not jump in bed with just anyone. The threat of STDs and AIDS is real. And I think that most people want some degree of a relationship before having sex with another person, even if the standards for what makes for that kind of appropriate relationship varies.

So why do I like this show????

1) It articulates the struggles that single women have in this day and age very realistically. The topics may vary such as singles versus married people, sexism women face in the workplace, issues surrounding wanting or not wanting children, divorce, etc. They do not sugar coat the issues but have the characters present various angles on the issues. I do not think that in my own life I am just Carrie, Miranda, Charolette or Samantha as they each have said things I identify with. However, while I may not be fashion obsessed I realize that I do have a way of looking at the world that is very close to the way Carrie does. There is this level of honesty that they identify on the show that I do not think is always deemed appropriate to address in the context of conversation. Shows like "Sex and the City" and "Desperate Housewives", popular magazines and novels that are "chic lit" or "romance" often put these kinds of things that women like myself think about, even if it is in a more commercialized way. And in terms of life as a single woman, while I am chaste in the city, they do articulate a lot of things in an R rated way that I have tried to say in a PG rated way. While "Friends" is excellent at displaying situations, I think Sex and the City's humor comes from the depth that it works from as the questions are asked, and sometimes answered.

2) Not only does it address the struggles women face realistically, I think it also presents a new American Dream that woman have. This is to make it on their own yet to be able to enjoy. We do get glimpses of the women's work lives occasionally but we usually see them at brunch at a resteraunt, shopping, going to a trendy party, going on dates. We see them more in states of luxury than we do at work even though we know that they work. This is the American dream, only instead of being told that a man needs to provide it, women are providing it for themselves somehow.

Honestly, I may think that I would not want to be drawn into all of that. However even though I think critically about distribution issues, I realize that my things if I had more resources at my finger tips would be traveling more, going to plays and concerts more, not thinking twice about buying a book or DVD for my personal collection, would be buying a fine bottle of wine, would be knowing that i had a full evening to make a meal and have friends over or to enjoy reading a book, would be going to plays more. There are a lot of things I would do more of if I had more resources at my finger tips honestly, who doesn't have some items like this? I have the realization that before I am quick to judge the issue of indulging in shoes that I do have things that I have or would like to indulge myself in. My treasure may not be the latest fashions but I do have things that I quite enjoy even if i know that this is not where my satisfaction comes from. My fantasies may come more from The New Yorker than they do from Vogue but I still have them.

There is something almost fantasy like about how the women on the show find ways to get what they want. While the things that I want would be more a long the lines of the liberal elite than of being fashion obsessed, I do have things I would indulge in more should I have the chance.

3) I love city life myself. I may tend to go toward happy hour specials, free entertainment and social justice type events myself. However it is fun to see that same kind of enthusiasm for the city on the screen. As Carrie once said, "I think I am in love with the city". I resonate with that kind of statement myself.

4) I get so consumed thinking about the worlds problems in thinking about theology and in social justice that enjoying this kind of thing makes me feel like a half way normal woman. Like I enjoy something that women of a variety of ages and beleif systems can relate to, unlike some of my other interests. It makes me feel human in the midst of all of my studying...

So in an odd way, I would have to say that it really resonates with me despite some of my criticisms of it. So, as Carrie would say, what I can now say about Sex and the City as I couldn't the same way before "Me likey..."