Hilarious and true....
Ironically, I saw this around the time that I introduced my parents to the PLTS worshipping community at someone else's prompt. Again on my list of things that I think forces the church to examine itself... Thanks mom for showing this to me!!!
Sunday, November 30, 2008
What if Starbucks Marketed Like a Church? A Parable.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Thanksgiving 2008
The top things I am thankful for this year:
My parents and my brother are visiting Berkeley this thanksgiving. I'm always thankful for my family, I think they are all wonderful. I am also thankful for my sister who is studying for the GREs this week.
Barack Obama won the presidential election.
Mission developing class this summer: I made new friends, new connections and had restored my sense of call to ordained ministry even if I am called to something more nonconventional.
Gas prices are going down.
My Pace e Bene Internship.
All the trips that I have made this past year: Chicago, Saint Paul, L.A. and Napa
Friendships that are maintained in spite of distance.
That I am still on my own two feet (its only been 4 years since my 2004 accident)
A really awesome teaching parish site. (which has also affirmed my call to ordained ministry)
The gift my singleness has given me of opportunities, friendships and personal growth. (although this does not mean that i would not refuse to be in a healthy relationship--i am just playing the thankful card right now)
I go to school on a goregous campus. (my family says that PLTS reminds them of Holden)
I do love the life of being a student: reading interesting things, going to interesting lectures, meeting interesting people and the opportunities to travel. Its easy to forget how much I love these things when I am overwhelmed by my debt load and a lack of sleep.
My family is so supportive to me.
I do have enough money for all of my living expenses and a little fun as a student (as long as nothing major happens.)
Last but not least: God is always good! Even in my times of struggle, God has worked it for good in my life.
My parents and my brother are visiting Berkeley this thanksgiving. I'm always thankful for my family, I think they are all wonderful. I am also thankful for my sister who is studying for the GREs this week.
Barack Obama won the presidential election.
Mission developing class this summer: I made new friends, new connections and had restored my sense of call to ordained ministry even if I am called to something more nonconventional.
Gas prices are going down.
My Pace e Bene Internship.
All the trips that I have made this past year: Chicago, Saint Paul, L.A. and Napa
Friendships that are maintained in spite of distance.
That I am still on my own two feet (its only been 4 years since my 2004 accident)
A really awesome teaching parish site. (which has also affirmed my call to ordained ministry)
The gift my singleness has given me of opportunities, friendships and personal growth. (although this does not mean that i would not refuse to be in a healthy relationship--i am just playing the thankful card right now)
I go to school on a goregous campus. (my family says that PLTS reminds them of Holden)
I do love the life of being a student: reading interesting things, going to interesting lectures, meeting interesting people and the opportunities to travel. Its easy to forget how much I love these things when I am overwhelmed by my debt load and a lack of sleep.
My family is so supportive to me.
I do have enough money for all of my living expenses and a little fun as a student (as long as nothing major happens.)
Last but not least: God is always good! Even in my times of struggle, God has worked it for good in my life.
Thanksgiving Sermon
My Thanksgiving sermon at my teaching parish:
Luke 17:11-19, Psalm 65
The lepers in this text asked Jesus for healing and Jesus granted it to them. There really were no strings attached to this gift that Jesus gave them. He did tell them to go show themselves to the priests. This was because it was priests that certified that people were healed. However, Jesus did not tell them “I will heal you only if you change your habits,” or “I will heal you only if you change your attitude.” Jesus gave the gift of healing to them unconditionally when the lepers asked him to have mercy on them. It was a gift that was given with no strings attached.
One of the commentaries that I read on this particular text posed the question: why rebuke the lepers for not returning when they were commanded to go and in that obedience the lepers were healed?
I can not help but wonder if Jesus felt disappointed that the other 9 did not take the time to come and say thank you.
In the first season of the television show “Desperate Housewives”, Bree Van De Kamp and her husband Rex are in marriage counseling together. Bree is a really good housewife, but her husband is accusing her of using housework as a means to not communicate her feelings more. Later, she goes and sees the counselor by herself. She gets into a conversation about Freud with her counselor. In this conversation, she says that Freud’s mother “had to do everything by hand, just back breaking work from sun up to sun down” in addition to making sacrifices. She poses the question to her counselor, “he saw how hard she worked. He saw what she did for him. Did he ever even think to say thank you? I doubt it.” Later, when she and her husband Rex are in counseling together the counselor looks at her husband and says “I am curious do you ever acknowledge the benefits of living with Bree? By your own admission, your home is always clean your clothes are always freshly pressed, she sounds like a wonderful cook, despite her flaws, do you ever remember to say thank you?”
At this, Bree smiles because that is what she wanted: to have someone say thank you for all the work that she is doing. She wondered if she was acknowledged by her husband for the work that she did for him. While she never demanded a thank you, a thank you would have been something that would have went a long way for her in acknowledging what she did do for her husband.
This may have been similar to what Jesus thought about the nine people who did not come back to thank him in this text. He probably was having that same sense of wondering if the other lepers acknowledged what he had just done for them with the gift of healing. A thank you was not mandatory however Jesus had just given these 10 lepers an amazing gift: the gift of healing.
Have you ever felt like Bree in thinking that the people you live with do not acknowledge the things you do for them? Have you ever given someone a gift that did not get a thank you? Have you ever spent time listening to someone or doing something for someone that you felt was not acknowledged? Perhaps this is how Jesus may have felt about the nine people that did not thank him for the healing. In any relationship, taking the other person for granted can weaken the relationship as the feeling of not being acknowledged can be painful. While taking time to thank the other person for what they do for us can help deepen the relationship. Jesus wanted more of a relationship with the other 9 lepers, and wants more of a relationship with us.
However one person came back to him and thanked him in our gospel story today. It was the Samaritan in the group that came back to thank him. The other 9 were more than likely Jews. The Samaritan was considered a foreigner. The fact that it was the Samaritan who came back to say thank you was not insignificant. The Samaritan was showing evidence of being grateful to what he was able to receive where he was living. The Samaritan made that extra step to show gratitude to Jesus. The psalm for today says, “Make a joyful noise to God, all the earth; sing glory of his name; give to him glorious praise. Say to God, How awesome are your deeds.” This is probably what the Samaritan did when he was at Jesus’ feet. This was significant for him and he felt the need to praise Jesus for this gift of healing. It was in his gratefulness that he was able to develop more of a relationship with Jesus as well. It is because he acknowledged Jesus and the wonderful powers Jesus had blessed him with. He was living out what the psalmist was feeling as well, “blessed be God, because he has not rejected my prayer.” His prayer and request were granted to him and he was glorifying Jesus. The other nine are the contrast to him because they took this gift that Jesus had given to them for granted.
At the time of Thanksgiving, we all are aware of the things in our lives that we are thankful for. As Christians, we take this a step further. We are not just thankful for things in our lives and looking for a special celebration. As Christians, we are thankful to God as well for being our creator and giving us the things in our lives. We do this because God desires to have a relationship with us, and this is one of the ways we strengthen our relationship with God: by giving thanks.
Yet Thanksgiving may not an easy time of year either. Holidays are difficult when poverty is in our own home. The current state of our economy may be leaving us wondering when poverty might hit us if it hasn’t hit us already which may make a holiday feel less festive than usual. Holidays can be a difficult time when we have experienced a family member’s death or separation or divorce from a significant other. It may be a painful time of year, so being asked to be thankful in the midst of a hurtful situation may be difficult.
But there is something that never changes that we can always be thankful for. God has given the gift of the son, Jesus Christ who died for the sake of our sins. This never changes, even if other things in our lives have changed. One of the ways that we are reminded of this gift is through the sacrament of baptism. We were lucky to be able to witness this was through Samantha’s baptism on Sunday, as we are able to think of God washing away our own sins as well. Thanking God for the gift of salvation through Jesus is showing gratitude for the ultimate gift of forgiveness which God has given us. It’s something we can always be thankful for even when its difficult to be thankful for other things.
God is also our creator. God made us and gave us the gift of life. This gift of creation is something else that we can be thankful for. God made this earth and everything in it. This includes flowers, trees, bodies of water and mountains, and countless other beautiful things. Acknowledging this gift of creation of our lives and the beauty of the earth is a way to show God how grateful that we are for what God has made.
God still gives other blessings in our lives as well. Today, I know that I am thankful to have family here today, to be a part of this Resurrection community, and that gas prices are going down. Take a moment and consider what you are thankful to God for today?
Try not let this attitude of thanking God for the blessings in your life be relegated to only one day. This may be challenging. Yet it can be simple as well. We can be thankful for our daily bread that we pray for in the Lord’s prayer. When Martin Luther answers what daily bread is he responds with a long list: “Everything that in the necessities and nourishment for our bodies, such as food, drink, clothing, shoes, house, farm, fields, livestock, money, property, a house, a spouse, children, faithful rulers, good government, good weather, peace, health, decency, honor, good friends, faithful neighbors and the like.” The daily bread of our lives are things that we can be continuously thankful for. It is through these gifts that we are able to live our lives. Acknowledging God for these basic gifts is a way to express our gratitude for the basic gift of life.
We say these words of thanks for the gift of God’s creation as a way to grow in our relationship with God. We say these words of thanks for the gifts of life as a way to deepen our friendship with God. Just as the leper who came back to say thank you for Jesus for this gift of healing had more of a chance to really have a relationship with God, we have more of a chance to continue to grow in our relationship with God when we say thank you. Thanking God for the ultimate gift of salvation through God’s son Jesus is the chance to thank God for the ultimate thing that God has done in our lives.
Having a sense of thanks is not only something that can be expressed in words, it can also be expressed in actions. When someone gives us a present that we are truly thankful for, we do not put it in the back of the closet where no one will see it. We take it out, and put it in the center of our lives for other people to see it. We do the same thing with the gifts that God has given us. We can extend this thankfulness we have to God to the way that we deal with the resources that God has given us. Pledging money in the commitment drive for our church this week or helping to put some food in the baskets for the hungry in our community are some ways that we show thanks to God. It can also be in our gift of our time as well, whether we are singing in the choir or participating in the local organizing committee or doing anything else that contributes to the life of this church or to the well being of the Oakland community that we are showing our thanks to god as well. This is a way that the gifts that God has given us is put to good use instead of keeping it to ourselves where other people may not be able to benefit from them. The using of these gifts is a way to express gratitude to God in our lives.
We can thank God in many ways in our words, in our actions. We thank God because God has given us the gifts that we do have in our lives. We thank God so that we might grow in our relationship with God. God is not only our creator but also our friend. How could we not be thankful to God for all of
Luke 17:11-19, Psalm 65
The lepers in this text asked Jesus for healing and Jesus granted it to them. There really were no strings attached to this gift that Jesus gave them. He did tell them to go show themselves to the priests. This was because it was priests that certified that people were healed. However, Jesus did not tell them “I will heal you only if you change your habits,” or “I will heal you only if you change your attitude.” Jesus gave the gift of healing to them unconditionally when the lepers asked him to have mercy on them. It was a gift that was given with no strings attached.
One of the commentaries that I read on this particular text posed the question: why rebuke the lepers for not returning when they were commanded to go and in that obedience the lepers were healed?
I can not help but wonder if Jesus felt disappointed that the other 9 did not take the time to come and say thank you.
In the first season of the television show “Desperate Housewives”, Bree Van De Kamp and her husband Rex are in marriage counseling together. Bree is a really good housewife, but her husband is accusing her of using housework as a means to not communicate her feelings more. Later, she goes and sees the counselor by herself. She gets into a conversation about Freud with her counselor. In this conversation, she says that Freud’s mother “had to do everything by hand, just back breaking work from sun up to sun down” in addition to making sacrifices. She poses the question to her counselor, “he saw how hard she worked. He saw what she did for him. Did he ever even think to say thank you? I doubt it.” Later, when she and her husband Rex are in counseling together the counselor looks at her husband and says “I am curious do you ever acknowledge the benefits of living with Bree? By your own admission, your home is always clean your clothes are always freshly pressed, she sounds like a wonderful cook, despite her flaws, do you ever remember to say thank you?”
At this, Bree smiles because that is what she wanted: to have someone say thank you for all the work that she is doing. She wondered if she was acknowledged by her husband for the work that she did for him. While she never demanded a thank you, a thank you would have been something that would have went a long way for her in acknowledging what she did do for her husband.
This may have been similar to what Jesus thought about the nine people who did not come back to thank him in this text. He probably was having that same sense of wondering if the other lepers acknowledged what he had just done for them with the gift of healing. A thank you was not mandatory however Jesus had just given these 10 lepers an amazing gift: the gift of healing.
Have you ever felt like Bree in thinking that the people you live with do not acknowledge the things you do for them? Have you ever given someone a gift that did not get a thank you? Have you ever spent time listening to someone or doing something for someone that you felt was not acknowledged? Perhaps this is how Jesus may have felt about the nine people that did not thank him for the healing. In any relationship, taking the other person for granted can weaken the relationship as the feeling of not being acknowledged can be painful. While taking time to thank the other person for what they do for us can help deepen the relationship. Jesus wanted more of a relationship with the other 9 lepers, and wants more of a relationship with us.
However one person came back to him and thanked him in our gospel story today. It was the Samaritan in the group that came back to thank him. The other 9 were more than likely Jews. The Samaritan was considered a foreigner. The fact that it was the Samaritan who came back to say thank you was not insignificant. The Samaritan was showing evidence of being grateful to what he was able to receive where he was living. The Samaritan made that extra step to show gratitude to Jesus. The psalm for today says, “Make a joyful noise to God, all the earth; sing glory of his name; give to him glorious praise. Say to God, How awesome are your deeds.” This is probably what the Samaritan did when he was at Jesus’ feet. This was significant for him and he felt the need to praise Jesus for this gift of healing. It was in his gratefulness that he was able to develop more of a relationship with Jesus as well. It is because he acknowledged Jesus and the wonderful powers Jesus had blessed him with. He was living out what the psalmist was feeling as well, “blessed be God, because he has not rejected my prayer.” His prayer and request were granted to him and he was glorifying Jesus. The other nine are the contrast to him because they took this gift that Jesus had given to them for granted.
At the time of Thanksgiving, we all are aware of the things in our lives that we are thankful for. As Christians, we take this a step further. We are not just thankful for things in our lives and looking for a special celebration. As Christians, we are thankful to God as well for being our creator and giving us the things in our lives. We do this because God desires to have a relationship with us, and this is one of the ways we strengthen our relationship with God: by giving thanks.
Yet Thanksgiving may not an easy time of year either. Holidays are difficult when poverty is in our own home. The current state of our economy may be leaving us wondering when poverty might hit us if it hasn’t hit us already which may make a holiday feel less festive than usual. Holidays can be a difficult time when we have experienced a family member’s death or separation or divorce from a significant other. It may be a painful time of year, so being asked to be thankful in the midst of a hurtful situation may be difficult.
But there is something that never changes that we can always be thankful for. God has given the gift of the son, Jesus Christ who died for the sake of our sins. This never changes, even if other things in our lives have changed. One of the ways that we are reminded of this gift is through the sacrament of baptism. We were lucky to be able to witness this was through Samantha’s baptism on Sunday, as we are able to think of God washing away our own sins as well. Thanking God for the gift of salvation through Jesus is showing gratitude for the ultimate gift of forgiveness which God has given us. It’s something we can always be thankful for even when its difficult to be thankful for other things.
God is also our creator. God made us and gave us the gift of life. This gift of creation is something else that we can be thankful for. God made this earth and everything in it. This includes flowers, trees, bodies of water and mountains, and countless other beautiful things. Acknowledging this gift of creation of our lives and the beauty of the earth is a way to show God how grateful that we are for what God has made.
God still gives other blessings in our lives as well. Today, I know that I am thankful to have family here today, to be a part of this Resurrection community, and that gas prices are going down. Take a moment and consider what you are thankful to God for today?
Try not let this attitude of thanking God for the blessings in your life be relegated to only one day. This may be challenging. Yet it can be simple as well. We can be thankful for our daily bread that we pray for in the Lord’s prayer. When Martin Luther answers what daily bread is he responds with a long list: “Everything that in the necessities and nourishment for our bodies, such as food, drink, clothing, shoes, house, farm, fields, livestock, money, property, a house, a spouse, children, faithful rulers, good government, good weather, peace, health, decency, honor, good friends, faithful neighbors and the like.” The daily bread of our lives are things that we can be continuously thankful for. It is through these gifts that we are able to live our lives. Acknowledging God for these basic gifts is a way to express our gratitude for the basic gift of life.
We say these words of thanks for the gift of God’s creation as a way to grow in our relationship with God. We say these words of thanks for the gifts of life as a way to deepen our friendship with God. Just as the leper who came back to say thank you for Jesus for this gift of healing had more of a chance to really have a relationship with God, we have more of a chance to continue to grow in our relationship with God when we say thank you. Thanking God for the ultimate gift of salvation through God’s son Jesus is the chance to thank God for the ultimate thing that God has done in our lives.
Having a sense of thanks is not only something that can be expressed in words, it can also be expressed in actions. When someone gives us a present that we are truly thankful for, we do not put it in the back of the closet where no one will see it. We take it out, and put it in the center of our lives for other people to see it. We do the same thing with the gifts that God has given us. We can extend this thankfulness we have to God to the way that we deal with the resources that God has given us. Pledging money in the commitment drive for our church this week or helping to put some food in the baskets for the hungry in our community are some ways that we show thanks to God. It can also be in our gift of our time as well, whether we are singing in the choir or participating in the local organizing committee or doing anything else that contributes to the life of this church or to the well being of the Oakland community that we are showing our thanks to god as well. This is a way that the gifts that God has given us is put to good use instead of keeping it to ourselves where other people may not be able to benefit from them. The using of these gifts is a way to express gratitude to God in our lives.
We can thank God in many ways in our words, in our actions. We thank God because God has given us the gifts that we do have in our lives. We thank God so that we might grow in our relationship with God. God is not only our creator but also our friend. How could we not be thankful to God for all of
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Just War????
I just posted this on my Pace e Bene Blog:
For an education hour at my church, I am going to be leading a discussion on the just war theory, faith and Iraq this upcoming Sunday. The ELCA supports the just war theory in regards to war. These are the things that constitute the “just war” theory:
o When it is in response to the perpetration of a real injury
o When it is declared by legitimate public authority
o When there are right intentions
o When the goal of waging war is to restore a situation of peace
o When it is a last resort, after exhausting other reasonable means of peaceful settlement.
o When the overall damage caused by war will not exceed the original injury suffered/proportionality of the ends
o When there is a probability of success; there is a reasonable hope that the purpose for going to war can be successfully accomplished.
o When there is a public declaration of the reasons for waging war/public declaration
o When war targets only noncombatants
o When the war only uses means proportionate to the value of the target
I find it interesting that a lot of these stipulations seem very subjective. How do we determine right intentions? How do we measure the last resort? How can we determine the probability of success???
Personally, I think that these terms can be defined in a way that would make a war sound “just” even if it is not. Because of how subjective a lot of these things are, I am not sure if the just war theory is truly a path to justice. These things can be defined in a way that support’s one’s own self interest instead of in a way that really makes people think critically about the other. Nonviolence has a lot of principles that embrace thinking about the other in a loving, respectful way. I do not think that it can be skewed the same way that the just war theory can be.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Decisions, Decisions
I have made a very difficult decision recently, and well, please read my entire posting before you respond as it is a little more complicated than it sounds originally.
I had made the decision to do the Luther Seminary exchange program for next January term and Spring semester. PLTS and Luther are in the "western mission cluster" (the title humors me, but it is true). This allows people at Luther to do coursework at PLTS and people at PLTS to do coursework at Luther. This sounded like a very appealing decision to make for multiple reasons:
1) I am interested in mission developing. Even if I do not fiind myself becoming a mission developer, I think that these are important skills to emphasize to even help revitalize a congregation. (although i think actually starting a church from scratch will have fewer politics to navigate in having a missional focus than in revitalizing a congregation, it still does not negate that i think that these are important skills to have). I found myself really resonating with the idea of a missionaly oriented church more than merely trying to find ways to keep the people who are faithfuly attending a dying church happy. There are more classes at Luther than at PLTS in this regard, even if there are professors who are begining to consider this in their approach at the PLTS campus.
2) It is REALLY expensive to be in the bay area. I thought that I could reduce some of my spending by living in walking distance to my classes, to a seminary library, to a public library, to a coffee shop, to a grocery store. I do take a bus down to my classes at the Graduate Theological Union because they police parking meters so well that if you are off by a minute or two you get a $30 parking ticket. In trying to take advantage of resources by the GTU when the looper (the van that goes between PLTS and the GTU) was not running earlier this semester, I was continously hit with parking tickets. This has been motivation however to not take advantage of the GTU library as I tend to get lost in thought when I study.
Suddenly finding a parking lot by the university that charges me by the hour may seem more expensive to park, but I tend to get lost in thought easily. A lot of shops and resteraunts validate the ticket to the parking ramp around there. It does not mean that it is free, but it slashes the bill in half. So it becomes motivation to get some shopping done or to grab a bite to eat somewhere as there are many places that I can grab a bite to eat for under $10 around there. While it is still not entirely thrifty, I am maximizing my dollars more when I do this. When I do not do this, I go to a shopping mall in a nearby town and buy a cup of tea where I can get free parking. However I do not like this option as well as when I am at the university area because at the university I head to the swimming pool as a study break or as a reward, and I am more likely to support independently owned businesses when I do choose to do my errands around there.
3) My class is on internship this year. There were the people that I did feel like I clicked with better than I did others. However, even with the people that I did not "click" with in a certain way they did become like brothers and sisters to me. There is a certain level of commradity that I felt in having the same classes, in going through the same process with my class. And I worked with some of these people very closely and I also shared a kitchen space with some of these people. There is a familiarity that occurred and I felt like I became friends with them in a certain way still. I realize that I actually miss these people like crazy. I did go to LA to hang out with one young man that I felt like I got along very well with over my reading week, who I feel is like a long lost brother to me. I am trying to keep in touch with people via facebook and phone calls whenever possible. But it is still not the same. By the time I am on my internship, they will be back at PLTS for their final year. I feel like I am kind of going through a shifting of relationships and seeing which people I really will keep in touch with on a personal level and which people I will be happy to see at conferences and synod assemblies but not maybe keeping in touch on a more personal level. I grieve not having these people be a part of my life on a more regular basis.
4) In that same vain, I have also felt that way of all of you in Minnesota! I realize that I do have a lot of connections in Minnesota as well. I honestly feel bad that I have not been as good at keeping in touch as I would like to. The time difference sometimes makes me reticent to try to call many of you at the end of my day. And it would be very nice to see you all in person more as well. I realize that Minnesota is home to me and that it is hard to see California as home with having my class be gone.
5) The Twin Cities feels safer and more accessible. In the Twin Cities, I know where to get a beer for only $2, where I could walk to a public library for free and I scrounged the city pages for things to do for free or low cost. I have had a harder time finding these kinds of items in the bay area, I havent found a public library close to any of my usual stops, the equivalent of the city pages is only for San Fransisco which is an hour away and $8 for a BART ticket and there are parts of San Fran that I just refuse to walk alone. I do not think that the Twin Cities is perfect, but it does feel more geographically accessible and safer than San Fran does.
6) I do not feel like dorm life has worked as well for me this year as it has in previously. I enjoy being around people and activity quite a bit, but I identify with introversion in terms of the way I recharge and process things. Living in an apartment with the mentality for hospitality was a lot more appealing to me than living in a dorm where I am trying to coexist with people I didn't even choose to be in a living space with. Its more exhausting--- retreat and invitation are important to me in my sense of a home space.
+So, for all of these reasons, I began to get really excited about this prospect. I had been in communication with the registrar at my school about doing this, and it sounded like it was going to work. However, apparently they only allow up to a year of what can be done through the seminary exchange program at Luther. Since I had done summer school this summer, it needed to be counted toward the load that I am allowed to do. I am supposed to come back for 1-2 classes when I am done with internship next year and even though I enjoy Berkeley, for all of the reasons I just mentioned I thought it would be easier to do it at Luther. And I was told that it could work if I did my January term at the GTU and then did my other courses at Luther. Well, the main point was that I had elective hours left that I wanted to do in courses like mission of the triune God and contemporary worship issues. Suddenly, I realized as excited as I felt about this prospect, if I was not able to take the kinds of classes that I was hoping to in the exchange program that all the other things that I was excited about were icing on the cake, and not primary items. Registration for spring semester came around the corner and I was able to register for a systematics class at the Methodist seminary called Mission Impossible, discussing things like colonalizm and evangelism and pluralism from the lens of systematic theology. I was able to register for a class on indigenous spirituality at the unitarian seminary, a class on corinthians at the dominican seminary, an elective on conversion at the Methodist seminary--the only class I have to take at PLTS is Christian Ethics. Suddenly, I realized that I kind of was able to find classes at the GTU that were similar to my interest in mission that I would not even have the opportunity to do if I did the Luther Seminary semester.
While I am excited about my classes, I will admit to being disappointed about the more social aspect of all of this. As a previous blog mentioned, I feel lonely this year. Not being around my class is part of it. The other part of it I think is my schedule and the fact that I am frequently gone or way too tired when social events are going on around campus. I am pursuing finding a therapist and giving internet dating a shot, I think these things could help me in my more introverted preferences. (I have more fun in small groups and 1 on 1 settings than I do in larger groups). However, I am also considering very seriously that as much as I love my work with Pace e Bene maybe what I need is to have fewer items on my plate for next semester as well. I am discerning how to handle this. The thing is that I would be able to put more energy into my schoolwork and have more opportunity to get to know the people around me if I was not going and coming all the time to Oakland. I realize that while I have not felt overly happy with the social connections I have at PLTS this year (see people hearing without listening: oct 3) that maybe my schedule has not allowed me to give these connections more of the chance that they may deserve. While this could be hit or miss, I would also get more time for myself as well. Because the other big thing is if I do not get a horizon internship site (which I interviewed for last week) that I would probably be doing interviews for other internship sites next semester as well. And honestly, it is only a few extra months out in Berkeley.
I realized that it won't be so bad because:
1) I am taking most of my classes down at the GTU which sound exciting both in terms of the class content and the interreligious dialogue that occurs.
2) While the cost of living is kind of high around here, at least a good bottle of wine is affordable here unlike in the midwest
3) I will be able to swim outside in January
4) I will be done with teaching parish, which although I love the site that I am at, will give me aprox. 10 more hours in my week when I consider prep time, supervision, transportation and Sundays. I will have more time.
5) I am in favor of homosexual marriage and that this is more of a unanimous mentality at PLTS, and I think its more of a dividing issue at Luther.
6) Who doesn't want to visit a family member or friend in California to go to Napa????
7) I appreciate the diversity of ethnicities around the area with the university and the GTU, and I might find myself beginning to pick up some Spanish which I have always wanted to do
8) Maybe some of my newer acquaintances will develop into friendships
9) It seriously is not that long until the year is over and I am on internship...kind of a scary thought too
10) There is nothing like walking down Telegraph Ave. on a weekend. Street vendors are very interesting people to talk to. There are sometimes random concerts and parties going on that are free and open to the public. Bookstores are not just places to buy books but also where events take place. While I have not soaked up all the possibilities of the resource of the university, these are some of the things that come to mind when I think about the random fun I have found around that area.
11) One of the things that I think makes the bay area unique is the attention to health and wellness in addition to education and culture. Its not just a mentality that takes place around the schools, but its very much a flavor of the way people continously live their lives. This is something that I find that I fit right into.
So there are some aspects of this that won't be that bad. It takes away the weirdness of the teaching parish supervisor at the parish that did not work out very well hanging out around the campus. It takes away the weirdness of the last man who articulated a desire to date me (who I actually refused) is now married. (it is for the better, it just feels weird as i think that i am in more of a place to date now than i was then). It takes away from all of the other aspects that I am disappointed about. The possiblity of spending next summer in the Twin Cities is there as well, which helps. It is really a mixed bag right now. However I trust it will be good.
Honestly, I was not sure about this for a few days. But then when Obama won the presidential election, I felt like if there is hope for our country now, that there is hope for me as well. The odd thing is that despite these disappointments i trust that it is going to work out for the good. The frusteration is that I can not see in to a crystal ball about this, but it makes life stay seemingly interesting as well. And yet I have this odd sense of peace that everything is goign to turn out the way it is supposed to turn out. It will be good, I just do not know why yet. God, grant me patience is my next prayer. In the meantime, I could use prayers in all of these regards! Please keep in touch! I miss you all!
I had made the decision to do the Luther Seminary exchange program for next January term and Spring semester. PLTS and Luther are in the "western mission cluster" (the title humors me, but it is true). This allows people at Luther to do coursework at PLTS and people at PLTS to do coursework at Luther. This sounded like a very appealing decision to make for multiple reasons:
1) I am interested in mission developing. Even if I do not fiind myself becoming a mission developer, I think that these are important skills to emphasize to even help revitalize a congregation. (although i think actually starting a church from scratch will have fewer politics to navigate in having a missional focus than in revitalizing a congregation, it still does not negate that i think that these are important skills to have). I found myself really resonating with the idea of a missionaly oriented church more than merely trying to find ways to keep the people who are faithfuly attending a dying church happy. There are more classes at Luther than at PLTS in this regard, even if there are professors who are begining to consider this in their approach at the PLTS campus.
2) It is REALLY expensive to be in the bay area. I thought that I could reduce some of my spending by living in walking distance to my classes, to a seminary library, to a public library, to a coffee shop, to a grocery store. I do take a bus down to my classes at the Graduate Theological Union because they police parking meters so well that if you are off by a minute or two you get a $30 parking ticket. In trying to take advantage of resources by the GTU when the looper (the van that goes between PLTS and the GTU) was not running earlier this semester, I was continously hit with parking tickets. This has been motivation however to not take advantage of the GTU library as I tend to get lost in thought when I study.
Suddenly finding a parking lot by the university that charges me by the hour may seem more expensive to park, but I tend to get lost in thought easily. A lot of shops and resteraunts validate the ticket to the parking ramp around there. It does not mean that it is free, but it slashes the bill in half. So it becomes motivation to get some shopping done or to grab a bite to eat somewhere as there are many places that I can grab a bite to eat for under $10 around there. While it is still not entirely thrifty, I am maximizing my dollars more when I do this. When I do not do this, I go to a shopping mall in a nearby town and buy a cup of tea where I can get free parking. However I do not like this option as well as when I am at the university area because at the university I head to the swimming pool as a study break or as a reward, and I am more likely to support independently owned businesses when I do choose to do my errands around there.
3) My class is on internship this year. There were the people that I did feel like I clicked with better than I did others. However, even with the people that I did not "click" with in a certain way they did become like brothers and sisters to me. There is a certain level of commradity that I felt in having the same classes, in going through the same process with my class. And I worked with some of these people very closely and I also shared a kitchen space with some of these people. There is a familiarity that occurred and I felt like I became friends with them in a certain way still. I realize that I actually miss these people like crazy. I did go to LA to hang out with one young man that I felt like I got along very well with over my reading week, who I feel is like a long lost brother to me. I am trying to keep in touch with people via facebook and phone calls whenever possible. But it is still not the same. By the time I am on my internship, they will be back at PLTS for their final year. I feel like I am kind of going through a shifting of relationships and seeing which people I really will keep in touch with on a personal level and which people I will be happy to see at conferences and synod assemblies but not maybe keeping in touch on a more personal level. I grieve not having these people be a part of my life on a more regular basis.
4) In that same vain, I have also felt that way of all of you in Minnesota! I realize that I do have a lot of connections in Minnesota as well. I honestly feel bad that I have not been as good at keeping in touch as I would like to. The time difference sometimes makes me reticent to try to call many of you at the end of my day. And it would be very nice to see you all in person more as well. I realize that Minnesota is home to me and that it is hard to see California as home with having my class be gone.
5) The Twin Cities feels safer and more accessible. In the Twin Cities, I know where to get a beer for only $2, where I could walk to a public library for free and I scrounged the city pages for things to do for free or low cost. I have had a harder time finding these kinds of items in the bay area, I havent found a public library close to any of my usual stops, the equivalent of the city pages is only for San Fransisco which is an hour away and $8 for a BART ticket and there are parts of San Fran that I just refuse to walk alone. I do not think that the Twin Cities is perfect, but it does feel more geographically accessible and safer than San Fran does.
6) I do not feel like dorm life has worked as well for me this year as it has in previously. I enjoy being around people and activity quite a bit, but I identify with introversion in terms of the way I recharge and process things. Living in an apartment with the mentality for hospitality was a lot more appealing to me than living in a dorm where I am trying to coexist with people I didn't even choose to be in a living space with. Its more exhausting--- retreat and invitation are important to me in my sense of a home space.
+So, for all of these reasons, I began to get really excited about this prospect. I had been in communication with the registrar at my school about doing this, and it sounded like it was going to work. However, apparently they only allow up to a year of what can be done through the seminary exchange program at Luther. Since I had done summer school this summer, it needed to be counted toward the load that I am allowed to do. I am supposed to come back for 1-2 classes when I am done with internship next year and even though I enjoy Berkeley, for all of the reasons I just mentioned I thought it would be easier to do it at Luther. And I was told that it could work if I did my January term at the GTU and then did my other courses at Luther. Well, the main point was that I had elective hours left that I wanted to do in courses like mission of the triune God and contemporary worship issues. Suddenly, I realized as excited as I felt about this prospect, if I was not able to take the kinds of classes that I was hoping to in the exchange program that all the other things that I was excited about were icing on the cake, and not primary items. Registration for spring semester came around the corner and I was able to register for a systematics class at the Methodist seminary called Mission Impossible, discussing things like colonalizm and evangelism and pluralism from the lens of systematic theology. I was able to register for a class on indigenous spirituality at the unitarian seminary, a class on corinthians at the dominican seminary, an elective on conversion at the Methodist seminary--the only class I have to take at PLTS is Christian Ethics. Suddenly, I realized that I kind of was able to find classes at the GTU that were similar to my interest in mission that I would not even have the opportunity to do if I did the Luther Seminary semester.
While I am excited about my classes, I will admit to being disappointed about the more social aspect of all of this. As a previous blog mentioned, I feel lonely this year. Not being around my class is part of it. The other part of it I think is my schedule and the fact that I am frequently gone or way too tired when social events are going on around campus. I am pursuing finding a therapist and giving internet dating a shot, I think these things could help me in my more introverted preferences. (I have more fun in small groups and 1 on 1 settings than I do in larger groups). However, I am also considering very seriously that as much as I love my work with Pace e Bene maybe what I need is to have fewer items on my plate for next semester as well. I am discerning how to handle this. The thing is that I would be able to put more energy into my schoolwork and have more opportunity to get to know the people around me if I was not going and coming all the time to Oakland. I realize that while I have not felt overly happy with the social connections I have at PLTS this year (see people hearing without listening: oct 3) that maybe my schedule has not allowed me to give these connections more of the chance that they may deserve. While this could be hit or miss, I would also get more time for myself as well. Because the other big thing is if I do not get a horizon internship site (which I interviewed for last week) that I would probably be doing interviews for other internship sites next semester as well. And honestly, it is only a few extra months out in Berkeley.
I realized that it won't be so bad because:
1) I am taking most of my classes down at the GTU which sound exciting both in terms of the class content and the interreligious dialogue that occurs.
2) While the cost of living is kind of high around here, at least a good bottle of wine is affordable here unlike in the midwest
3) I will be able to swim outside in January
4) I will be done with teaching parish, which although I love the site that I am at, will give me aprox. 10 more hours in my week when I consider prep time, supervision, transportation and Sundays. I will have more time.
5) I am in favor of homosexual marriage and that this is more of a unanimous mentality at PLTS, and I think its more of a dividing issue at Luther.
6) Who doesn't want to visit a family member or friend in California to go to Napa????
7) I appreciate the diversity of ethnicities around the area with the university and the GTU, and I might find myself beginning to pick up some Spanish which I have always wanted to do
8) Maybe some of my newer acquaintances will develop into friendships
9) It seriously is not that long until the year is over and I am on internship...kind of a scary thought too
10) There is nothing like walking down Telegraph Ave. on a weekend. Street vendors are very interesting people to talk to. There are sometimes random concerts and parties going on that are free and open to the public. Bookstores are not just places to buy books but also where events take place. While I have not soaked up all the possibilities of the resource of the university, these are some of the things that come to mind when I think about the random fun I have found around that area.
11) One of the things that I think makes the bay area unique is the attention to health and wellness in addition to education and culture. Its not just a mentality that takes place around the schools, but its very much a flavor of the way people continously live their lives. This is something that I find that I fit right into.
So there are some aspects of this that won't be that bad. It takes away the weirdness of the teaching parish supervisor at the parish that did not work out very well hanging out around the campus. It takes away the weirdness of the last man who articulated a desire to date me (who I actually refused) is now married. (it is for the better, it just feels weird as i think that i am in more of a place to date now than i was then). It takes away from all of the other aspects that I am disappointed about. The possiblity of spending next summer in the Twin Cities is there as well, which helps. It is really a mixed bag right now. However I trust it will be good.
Honestly, I was not sure about this for a few days. But then when Obama won the presidential election, I felt like if there is hope for our country now, that there is hope for me as well. The odd thing is that despite these disappointments i trust that it is going to work out for the good. The frusteration is that I can not see in to a crystal ball about this, but it makes life stay seemingly interesting as well. And yet I have this odd sense of peace that everything is goign to turn out the way it is supposed to turn out. It will be good, I just do not know why yet. God, grant me patience is my next prayer. In the meantime, I could use prayers in all of these regards! Please keep in touch! I miss you all!
I Still Remember When 30 Was Old....
I just got this in some kind of email list that I am on in dating after 30. I thought it was a very applicable article to my shifting attitudes towards dating. Well, I am 28 years old, so I am not quite 30 yet. However I think that my attitudes towards dating are more in this category for a variety of reasons:
1) 30 is no longer that far away for me.
2) I have been in a variety of relationships which have indicated to me things that I can and can not live without. And reflecting over what did and did not work well has made me think critically about the way I want to handle things differently and how I want someone to deal with me differently. Disclaimers: There are some things that are deal breakers, however some things are negotiable with the right person. No one is perfect, but they should bring out my best side, and not my worst side.
3) Oddly enough, claiming my pastoral identity more has made me want to have a stable, mature relationship even more.
4) While there are some problems in equality when thinking about marriage (it can be used to define women in oppressive roles, the rights that go along with marriage are denied to homosexuals), I am entering into a profession that is pro-marriage, and this is a standard that is set even more so for clergy members than it is for average church go-ers. Despite my mixed feelings toward marriage, because I am entering a job that is pro-marriage, I am going to be more likely to want to invest my time on a relationship that has the potentiality for marriage. Ultimately I do not view marriage as a goal as much as enjoying each other's company. However, I will get in less trouble on any issues relating to this if I sniff out dating for the sake of dating and really liking the other person and making sure that they like me as well early on. Tricky, I know. However I think that this definitely puts me more in a 30+ attitude toward dating than it does an early 20s attitude towards dating according to this article.
Disclaimer about the article: There are some very liberal attitudes towards sexuality in the article that the ELCA does not endorse. So I will practice ambiguity by saying this: Look beyond the issues of sex outside the context of marriage and the other issues that might be applicable after 30 anyway. Regardless of all of this, it makes me feel better about still being in the dating field at my age...
TEN REASONS WHY DATING IS BETTER AFTER 30
by Amy Waterman
10. You don't have to worry about sneaking home at night and waking your parents. One of the best things about dating when you're in your thirties is that you are responsible for yourself. You can stay up late, invite him to your house for a nightcap, or stay over at his house without guilt. It's your decision, because it's your life.
9. You can afford nicer restaurants than McDonald's. I still remember my first date. We shared a strawberry milkshake at McDonald's, and I was so starry-eyed with infatuation that anything would have tasted like ambrosia. Fortunately, my dinner dates these days are much healthier and better suited to romance. (Betsy's seminary student comment: if he makes more money than me and is paying)
8. You're into something more than getting trashed on weekends. By the time most of us reach our thirties, the novelty of getting drunk every weekend has usually worn off. Curling up next to one another on the sofa and watching a movie can feel just as pleasurable as clubbing until dawn.
7. You know a bit more about life and love. One of the scariest things about dating when you're a teenager is starting out from a state of ignorance. We're not born knowing how it all works. As exciting as it feels to kiss a boy for the first time, that heady hormonal rush is tempered by anxiety. Very few people get through their early dating years without feeling paralyzed by a horrible fear of messing up. That's why it's so nice to have enough experience to be realistic about the whole process: dating can be disappointing, exciting, embarrassing, and exhilarating - sometimes all at the same time!
6. You no longer put up with the bullshit. By the time you reach your thirties, you've gained a little wisdom when it comes to relationships. You can call a spade a spade. You value yourself enough to say "no" to a bad situation.
5. You can play the "Mrs. Robinson" card. If it's good enough for Demi Moore, it's good enough for us! There's nothing more fun than being the naughty "older" woman. You may even find that a lot of younger men are dreaming of a Mrs. Robinson to initiate them into the ways of love.
4. Your relationship has a greater chance of lasting. Compared with couples who marry as teenagers or in their early twenties, your relationship will stand a greater chance of lasting if you wait to marry until AT LEAST your mid-twenties. This makes sense intuitively as well as statistically. When you marry at an older age, you know yourself better. You know what you can live with. You are both more financially stable. You've had enough dating experience to build some relationship skills.
3. The sex is better. Whereas the male sex drive peaks in his late teens, the female sex drive is only revving up. Women hit their stride in their thirties, a period that often coincides with a greater body acceptance and a more relaxed attitude towards what happens in bed.
2. You can see what you're getting with him. When you're dating in your teens and twenties, the energy and ambition of youth makes it difficult to clearly see who your partner will actually turn out to be. The young man who goes to Stanford for a business degree may drop out to flip burgers and play in a band. The local jock may become the paunchy middle manager whose idea of flexing his arm muscles is lifting a beer glass. Luckily, by the time a man reaches his thirties, his lifestyle choices will give you a good indication of where he sees himself going in life.
1. You've got more going on in your life than him. Yes, for me the best part about being 30+ is that life is so much fuller, richer, and more satisfying than ever before. Whether you have a relationship or not, you've created a life that you can be proud of. You no longer depend on a man for your sense of self-worth. Dating is part of your life but not everything. As a result, relationships become something wonderful to be valued when you have them, but not despaired over when you don't.
1) 30 is no longer that far away for me.
2) I have been in a variety of relationships which have indicated to me things that I can and can not live without. And reflecting over what did and did not work well has made me think critically about the way I want to handle things differently and how I want someone to deal with me differently. Disclaimers: There are some things that are deal breakers, however some things are negotiable with the right person. No one is perfect, but they should bring out my best side, and not my worst side.
3) Oddly enough, claiming my pastoral identity more has made me want to have a stable, mature relationship even more.
4) While there are some problems in equality when thinking about marriage (it can be used to define women in oppressive roles, the rights that go along with marriage are denied to homosexuals), I am entering into a profession that is pro-marriage, and this is a standard that is set even more so for clergy members than it is for average church go-ers. Despite my mixed feelings toward marriage, because I am entering a job that is pro-marriage, I am going to be more likely to want to invest my time on a relationship that has the potentiality for marriage. Ultimately I do not view marriage as a goal as much as enjoying each other's company. However, I will get in less trouble on any issues relating to this if I sniff out dating for the sake of dating and really liking the other person and making sure that they like me as well early on. Tricky, I know. However I think that this definitely puts me more in a 30+ attitude toward dating than it does an early 20s attitude towards dating according to this article.
Disclaimer about the article: There are some very liberal attitudes towards sexuality in the article that the ELCA does not endorse. So I will practice ambiguity by saying this: Look beyond the issues of sex outside the context of marriage and the other issues that might be applicable after 30 anyway. Regardless of all of this, it makes me feel better about still being in the dating field at my age...
TEN REASONS WHY DATING IS BETTER AFTER 30
by Amy Waterman
10. You don't have to worry about sneaking home at night and waking your parents. One of the best things about dating when you're in your thirties is that you are responsible for yourself. You can stay up late, invite him to your house for a nightcap, or stay over at his house without guilt. It's your decision, because it's your life.
9. You can afford nicer restaurants than McDonald's. I still remember my first date. We shared a strawberry milkshake at McDonald's, and I was so starry-eyed with infatuation that anything would have tasted like ambrosia. Fortunately, my dinner dates these days are much healthier and better suited to romance. (Betsy's seminary student comment: if he makes more money than me and is paying)
8. You're into something more than getting trashed on weekends. By the time most of us reach our thirties, the novelty of getting drunk every weekend has usually worn off. Curling up next to one another on the sofa and watching a movie can feel just as pleasurable as clubbing until dawn.
7. You know a bit more about life and love. One of the scariest things about dating when you're a teenager is starting out from a state of ignorance. We're not born knowing how it all works. As exciting as it feels to kiss a boy for the first time, that heady hormonal rush is tempered by anxiety. Very few people get through their early dating years without feeling paralyzed by a horrible fear of messing up. That's why it's so nice to have enough experience to be realistic about the whole process: dating can be disappointing, exciting, embarrassing, and exhilarating - sometimes all at the same time!
6. You no longer put up with the bullshit. By the time you reach your thirties, you've gained a little wisdom when it comes to relationships. You can call a spade a spade. You value yourself enough to say "no" to a bad situation.
5. You can play the "Mrs. Robinson" card. If it's good enough for Demi Moore, it's good enough for us! There's nothing more fun than being the naughty "older" woman. You may even find that a lot of younger men are dreaming of a Mrs. Robinson to initiate them into the ways of love.
4. Your relationship has a greater chance of lasting. Compared with couples who marry as teenagers or in their early twenties, your relationship will stand a greater chance of lasting if you wait to marry until AT LEAST your mid-twenties. This makes sense intuitively as well as statistically. When you marry at an older age, you know yourself better. You know what you can live with. You are both more financially stable. You've had enough dating experience to build some relationship skills.
3. The sex is better. Whereas the male sex drive peaks in his late teens, the female sex drive is only revving up. Women hit their stride in their thirties, a period that often coincides with a greater body acceptance and a more relaxed attitude towards what happens in bed.
2. You can see what you're getting with him. When you're dating in your teens and twenties, the energy and ambition of youth makes it difficult to clearly see who your partner will actually turn out to be. The young man who goes to Stanford for a business degree may drop out to flip burgers and play in a band. The local jock may become the paunchy middle manager whose idea of flexing his arm muscles is lifting a beer glass. Luckily, by the time a man reaches his thirties, his lifestyle choices will give you a good indication of where he sees himself going in life.
1. You've got more going on in your life than him. Yes, for me the best part about being 30+ is that life is so much fuller, richer, and more satisfying than ever before. Whether you have a relationship or not, you've created a life that you can be proud of. You no longer depend on a man for your sense of self-worth. Dating is part of your life but not everything. As a result, relationships become something wonderful to be valued when you have them, but not despaired over when you don't.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Sex and the City: Me Likey
I have a new addiction: The TV show Sex and the City as I have been netflixing it quite a bit lately. I love to watch movies, but there is something about TV shows on DVD that is almost easier to do in smaller chunks like I need to as a student. And while the Sex and the City movie was disappointing, I think that the television show is brilliant.
For a long time, I thought that I did not like the show all that much. I have had some major critiques of the show before, which still are not invalid criticisms of the show:
1) Feminism goes shopping. Seriously, there are women (like me) who could care less if they wear clothing from Dolce and Gabbana or have a Prada bag, etc. I will admit that although I do find myself wearing things that are kind of trendy from time to time that my fashion sense tends to be more "classic" or "conservative" but I almost prefer to find my clothes at the cheapest place possible to buy them. And I would rather spend my time going and doing things that are worthwhile instead of shopping. I tend to be more of the type of gal who goes to the bookstore cafe to buy a cheap cup of tea and sit there speed reading books I would not be willing to buy then to go off to shop for clothes. In that same vain, most single women around my age simply can not afford to go out as much as the women on the show are portrayed as doing.
2) How frank the women are with each other about sex. Honestly, not many women really sit around discussing sex in groups of friends the way that they do. The level the conversation is often brought to in off screen world is generally seen of as socially inappropriate even amongst women who do consider themselves friends, despite the fact that it is a concern. Seeing this as a norm on the screen can make women feel resentful that they do not have those kinds of relationships with other women.
3) How the women do not discuss the arts, politics, community concerns intellectual pursuits amongst each other. They seem so absorbed in fashion and sex and what is "hip" to the degree that makes one wonder if they are capable of really looking outside of themselves more. (However, I am not sure if simplicity in the city or chastity in the city would have appealed to the marketing for the show the same way)
4) The assumption that being single in the city=sex in the city. Well, maybe I do have the biased perspective of my choice of career. I think that there is a broad spectrum as to how to handle sexuality and being single. The show holds up a picture of a very laizze fare approach to sexuality in general. I think that most adults just do not jump in bed with just anyone. The threat of STDs and AIDS is real. And I think that most people want some degree of a relationship before having sex with another person, even if the standards for what makes for that kind of appropriate relationship varies.
So why do I like this show????
1) It articulates the struggles that single women have in this day and age very realistically. The topics may vary such as singles versus married people, sexism women face in the workplace, issues surrounding wanting or not wanting children, divorce, etc. They do not sugar coat the issues but have the characters present various angles on the issues. I do not think that in my own life I am just Carrie, Miranda, Charolette or Samantha as they each have said things I identify with. However, while I may not be fashion obsessed I realize that I do have a way of looking at the world that is very close to the way Carrie does. There is this level of honesty that they identify on the show that I do not think is always deemed appropriate to address in the context of conversation. Shows like "Sex and the City" and "Desperate Housewives", popular magazines and novels that are "chic lit" or "romance" often put these kinds of things that women like myself think about, even if it is in a more commercialized way. And in terms of life as a single woman, while I am chaste in the city, they do articulate a lot of things in an R rated way that I have tried to say in a PG rated way. While "Friends" is excellent at displaying situations, I think Sex and the City's humor comes from the depth that it works from as the questions are asked, and sometimes answered.
2) Not only does it address the struggles women face realistically, I think it also presents a new American Dream that woman have. This is to make it on their own yet to be able to enjoy. We do get glimpses of the women's work lives occasionally but we usually see them at brunch at a resteraunt, shopping, going to a trendy party, going on dates. We see them more in states of luxury than we do at work even though we know that they work. This is the American dream, only instead of being told that a man needs to provide it, women are providing it for themselves somehow.
Honestly, I may think that I would not want to be drawn into all of that. However even though I think critically about distribution issues, I realize that my things if I had more resources at my finger tips would be traveling more, going to plays and concerts more, not thinking twice about buying a book or DVD for my personal collection, would be buying a fine bottle of wine, would be knowing that i had a full evening to make a meal and have friends over or to enjoy reading a book, would be going to plays more. There are a lot of things I would do more of if I had more resources at my finger tips honestly, who doesn't have some items like this? I have the realization that before I am quick to judge the issue of indulging in shoes that I do have things that I have or would like to indulge myself in. My treasure may not be the latest fashions but I do have things that I quite enjoy even if i know that this is not where my satisfaction comes from. My fantasies may come more from The New Yorker than they do from Vogue but I still have them.
There is something almost fantasy like about how the women on the show find ways to get what they want. While the things that I want would be more a long the lines of the liberal elite than of being fashion obsessed, I do have things I would indulge in more should I have the chance.
3) I love city life myself. I may tend to go toward happy hour specials, free entertainment and social justice type events myself. However it is fun to see that same kind of enthusiasm for the city on the screen. As Carrie once said, "I think I am in love with the city". I resonate with that kind of statement myself.
4) I get so consumed thinking about the worlds problems in thinking about theology and in social justice that enjoying this kind of thing makes me feel like a half way normal woman. Like I enjoy something that women of a variety of ages and beleif systems can relate to, unlike some of my other interests. It makes me feel human in the midst of all of my studying...
So in an odd way, I would have to say that it really resonates with me despite some of my criticisms of it. So, as Carrie would say, what I can now say about Sex and the City as I couldn't the same way before "Me likey..."
For a long time, I thought that I did not like the show all that much. I have had some major critiques of the show before, which still are not invalid criticisms of the show:
1) Feminism goes shopping. Seriously, there are women (like me) who could care less if they wear clothing from Dolce and Gabbana or have a Prada bag, etc. I will admit that although I do find myself wearing things that are kind of trendy from time to time that my fashion sense tends to be more "classic" or "conservative" but I almost prefer to find my clothes at the cheapest place possible to buy them. And I would rather spend my time going and doing things that are worthwhile instead of shopping. I tend to be more of the type of gal who goes to the bookstore cafe to buy a cheap cup of tea and sit there speed reading books I would not be willing to buy then to go off to shop for clothes. In that same vain, most single women around my age simply can not afford to go out as much as the women on the show are portrayed as doing.
2) How frank the women are with each other about sex. Honestly, not many women really sit around discussing sex in groups of friends the way that they do. The level the conversation is often brought to in off screen world is generally seen of as socially inappropriate even amongst women who do consider themselves friends, despite the fact that it is a concern. Seeing this as a norm on the screen can make women feel resentful that they do not have those kinds of relationships with other women.
3) How the women do not discuss the arts, politics, community concerns intellectual pursuits amongst each other. They seem so absorbed in fashion and sex and what is "hip" to the degree that makes one wonder if they are capable of really looking outside of themselves more. (However, I am not sure if simplicity in the city or chastity in the city would have appealed to the marketing for the show the same way)
4) The assumption that being single in the city=sex in the city. Well, maybe I do have the biased perspective of my choice of career. I think that there is a broad spectrum as to how to handle sexuality and being single. The show holds up a picture of a very laizze fare approach to sexuality in general. I think that most adults just do not jump in bed with just anyone. The threat of STDs and AIDS is real. And I think that most people want some degree of a relationship before having sex with another person, even if the standards for what makes for that kind of appropriate relationship varies.
So why do I like this show????
1) It articulates the struggles that single women have in this day and age very realistically. The topics may vary such as singles versus married people, sexism women face in the workplace, issues surrounding wanting or not wanting children, divorce, etc. They do not sugar coat the issues but have the characters present various angles on the issues. I do not think that in my own life I am just Carrie, Miranda, Charolette or Samantha as they each have said things I identify with. However, while I may not be fashion obsessed I realize that I do have a way of looking at the world that is very close to the way Carrie does. There is this level of honesty that they identify on the show that I do not think is always deemed appropriate to address in the context of conversation. Shows like "Sex and the City" and "Desperate Housewives", popular magazines and novels that are "chic lit" or "romance" often put these kinds of things that women like myself think about, even if it is in a more commercialized way. And in terms of life as a single woman, while I am chaste in the city, they do articulate a lot of things in an R rated way that I have tried to say in a PG rated way. While "Friends" is excellent at displaying situations, I think Sex and the City's humor comes from the depth that it works from as the questions are asked, and sometimes answered.
2) Not only does it address the struggles women face realistically, I think it also presents a new American Dream that woman have. This is to make it on their own yet to be able to enjoy. We do get glimpses of the women's work lives occasionally but we usually see them at brunch at a resteraunt, shopping, going to a trendy party, going on dates. We see them more in states of luxury than we do at work even though we know that they work. This is the American dream, only instead of being told that a man needs to provide it, women are providing it for themselves somehow.
Honestly, I may think that I would not want to be drawn into all of that. However even though I think critically about distribution issues, I realize that my things if I had more resources at my finger tips would be traveling more, going to plays and concerts more, not thinking twice about buying a book or DVD for my personal collection, would be buying a fine bottle of wine, would be knowing that i had a full evening to make a meal and have friends over or to enjoy reading a book, would be going to plays more. There are a lot of things I would do more of if I had more resources at my finger tips honestly, who doesn't have some items like this? I have the realization that before I am quick to judge the issue of indulging in shoes that I do have things that I have or would like to indulge myself in. My treasure may not be the latest fashions but I do have things that I quite enjoy even if i know that this is not where my satisfaction comes from. My fantasies may come more from The New Yorker than they do from Vogue but I still have them.
There is something almost fantasy like about how the women on the show find ways to get what they want. While the things that I want would be more a long the lines of the liberal elite than of being fashion obsessed, I do have things I would indulge in more should I have the chance.
3) I love city life myself. I may tend to go toward happy hour specials, free entertainment and social justice type events myself. However it is fun to see that same kind of enthusiasm for the city on the screen. As Carrie once said, "I think I am in love with the city". I resonate with that kind of statement myself.
4) I get so consumed thinking about the worlds problems in thinking about theology and in social justice that enjoying this kind of thing makes me feel like a half way normal woman. Like I enjoy something that women of a variety of ages and beleif systems can relate to, unlike some of my other interests. It makes me feel human in the midst of all of my studying...
So in an odd way, I would have to say that it really resonates with me despite some of my criticisms of it. So, as Carrie would say, what I can now say about Sex and the City as I couldn't the same way before "Me likey..."
Thursday, November 6, 2008
HOPE DOESNT DISAPPOINT
This week Obama won the presidency for 2009. This is the most elated that I think that I have seriously felt in a long time. I found myself jumping up and down and screaming in front of the television set at this win the same way I have seen my dad and brother getting about football games. I seriously had to bandage the foot that I had surgery on this summer these past few days, the jumping was that intense.
It is a feeling that is a good feeling. Its like falling in love. Its like being a child on Christmas day. You know, the receiving of the things that you want that you are not certain for sure you will get. Do you ever know if the other person will requite your interest? Does the child ever know that they will receive the gift that they want the most? Its that kind of hope, and yet its deeper than those things that I remember experiencing in my youth.
Sometimes I feel like in my adult life I have become more cynical about the things that I have hoped for because even though I have had some things turn out well, I have faced enough disappointment to feel skeptical about anything that I hoped for. I find myself gravitating towards watching musicals and reading romance novels because I think that it gives me a sense of that girlish hope that I have tried really hard not to lose in midst of hardship when I need to be exposed to something other than the Bible.
The mountain high moment that I had was honestly the most similar to moving out of my wheelchair in 2004 and demonstrating to everyone that i could walk again. There was that similar sense of joy and amazement. I think on one hand, my ability to walk again was something that we all wondered would happen. Mentally, I know I at least can own up to preparing for the worst. But I still managed to get up out of my wheelchair and walk across the room. And I felt like God was very close by in that moment. I have had a lot of good experiences in my life since then, but I do not think that I had that similar kind of spiritually mountain high experience since Barack was nominated for president last night.
We do live in a democracy, which has been questionable after the Bush regime. We are living up to a level of equality and justice as Barack Obama is the first African American president of the United States of America. We have a president that I think will bring a lot of change to the world. For the first time since I was old enough to vote, the candidate that I wanted to win won.
It was an amazing moment when in the seminary community, we took the time to pray and sing the doxology, (praise god from whom all blessings flow). I felt the Holy Spirit at work. It was as though in that moment I was suddenly praising and praying for something I haven't always felt I must proceed with caution about even though its how my faith makes me think.
But as there was a lot of work ahead of me as I made my first steps out of my wheelchair and into living independently again, there is still a lot of work for this country. None of the gay marriage laws passed. This is very much a civil rights issue that needs to be addressed. People are losing their jobs and proper health care has become an elitist commodity. People sleep in the streets at night. Women feel like they have to choose between an abortion and raising their children in the circumstances of poverty. The war in Iraq still continues to go on. There is still much on this list of injustices that I haven't written about. There is still a lot of work ahead of our country.
However it is refreshing that we may finally have a president who will be more in tune with what my understanding of justice is. Its like the hopes and fears of all the years were met with a sense of joy on November 4, 2008. We have a democrat for president. We have an African American president. Yes, our country is capable of changing. And just as my blog reads, maybe it is true, hope doesn't disappoint us. That is the hope in God that makes us yearn for justice and a truly egalitarian community. Hope is on the way!!!
It is a feeling that is a good feeling. Its like falling in love. Its like being a child on Christmas day. You know, the receiving of the things that you want that you are not certain for sure you will get. Do you ever know if the other person will requite your interest? Does the child ever know that they will receive the gift that they want the most? Its that kind of hope, and yet its deeper than those things that I remember experiencing in my youth.
Sometimes I feel like in my adult life I have become more cynical about the things that I have hoped for because even though I have had some things turn out well, I have faced enough disappointment to feel skeptical about anything that I hoped for. I find myself gravitating towards watching musicals and reading romance novels because I think that it gives me a sense of that girlish hope that I have tried really hard not to lose in midst of hardship when I need to be exposed to something other than the Bible.
The mountain high moment that I had was honestly the most similar to moving out of my wheelchair in 2004 and demonstrating to everyone that i could walk again. There was that similar sense of joy and amazement. I think on one hand, my ability to walk again was something that we all wondered would happen. Mentally, I know I at least can own up to preparing for the worst. But I still managed to get up out of my wheelchair and walk across the room. And I felt like God was very close by in that moment. I have had a lot of good experiences in my life since then, but I do not think that I had that similar kind of spiritually mountain high experience since Barack was nominated for president last night.
We do live in a democracy, which has been questionable after the Bush regime. We are living up to a level of equality and justice as Barack Obama is the first African American president of the United States of America. We have a president that I think will bring a lot of change to the world. For the first time since I was old enough to vote, the candidate that I wanted to win won.
It was an amazing moment when in the seminary community, we took the time to pray and sing the doxology, (praise god from whom all blessings flow). I felt the Holy Spirit at work. It was as though in that moment I was suddenly praising and praying for something I haven't always felt I must proceed with caution about even though its how my faith makes me think.
But as there was a lot of work ahead of me as I made my first steps out of my wheelchair and into living independently again, there is still a lot of work for this country. None of the gay marriage laws passed. This is very much a civil rights issue that needs to be addressed. People are losing their jobs and proper health care has become an elitist commodity. People sleep in the streets at night. Women feel like they have to choose between an abortion and raising their children in the circumstances of poverty. The war in Iraq still continues to go on. There is still much on this list of injustices that I haven't written about. There is still a lot of work ahead of our country.
However it is refreshing that we may finally have a president who will be more in tune with what my understanding of justice is. Its like the hopes and fears of all the years were met with a sense of joy on November 4, 2008. We have a democrat for president. We have an African American president. Yes, our country is capable of changing. And just as my blog reads, maybe it is true, hope doesn't disappoint us. That is the hope in God that makes us yearn for justice and a truly egalitarian community. Hope is on the way!!!
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