INTERNSHIP ASSIGNMENT

Hey friends. I thought that I would let you know that I got my internship assignment today. And...I am going to be at the North Dakota State University in conjunction with doing parish ministry at Elim Lutheran Church in Fargo, North Dakota!!!

Honestly, my initial reaction was to kind of cry a little bit. I am NOT looking forward to facing winter full time again by any means, and my main driving phobia remains to be driving in snow and ice. And I am a little worried that I might be prone to being a little sore with all the broken bones that I have had during the winter months as well.

Also, I realized that my heart was set on NOT going back to the mid-west but in living somewhere completely different. However, I felt like I needed to get past geography and look at the kinds of ministries that I could be a part of, and the idea of doing joint campus ministry and parish ministry seemed very appealing to me because I want the chance to actually work in a real parish setting, but I also like the idea quite a bit of working with college students.

However, I am honestly looking forward to doing the work quite a bit. For my mission impossible class, I am actually doing my final project on Lutheran mission to young adults, which strikes me as maybe fitting quite a bit for me.

Its funny, because I have been playing this what if game with myself these days about what my life would have been if I made different choices. I remain fully convinced that had I known I was going to go to seminary eventually I often have thought that I probably would have attended a university to get an undergraduate degree in creative writing or in musical theater along with a degree in peace studies or women's studies. Because I realized that the main reason why I did not pursue these kinds of studies in my undergraduate degree was not a lack of interest in them as much as it was wanting to do something other than wait tables, and I wanted to be able to support myself.

I also struggled quite a bit in running in campus ministry circles when I was in college as I realized that I really wanted to be in christian community but that piety regarding alcohol and sexuality I found stifling as my morality tended to be based more on economic justice and our globalized world. (and the ways i did live up to this had more to do with my busy schedule than with piety...) But I wanted to be a part of christian community so badly, and I stuck with it and I found it formulative in other ways. And honestly, I think it was encouragement from campus pastors that probably made me feel like I should consider seminary in the first place.

I came at this quite honestly in my interview, and actually, I think that the honest assessment of this and not looking at college and college ministries in particular with rosy colored glasses is one of the big things that got me this particular placement. I think I got along well with the supervisors well and I felt that I would enjoy working with them but that they would challenge me as well.

However, the more I think about all of this, the more I am feeling quite excited as well too. I think that I would enjoy and benefit from working in a university setting. I have been thinking a lot lately about taking theater and/or dance classes and read things because they sound interesting to me, not just because they are assigned. I have been wanting to hang out with non-church people these days. I think that I might have more of these kinds of resources at my finger tips in a university setting.

And my gifts IN ministry are things that I think would go well in a college setting as I encourage the exploration of difficult questions, as I really like to push on finding links between church and society. I think that college students are busy but they would not have the kind of commitments that would prevent them from taking a moral stance against the school of americas or in considering going and doing a service trip on their time off in a way that I have observed is not always easy to do once one has children, a spouse and/or a full time job.

Also, college is a VERY exciting time in terms of personal development which I think can be synonmous with one's understanding of spirituality. This is when people start to think about what they want to accept or reject from the worldview that they grew up with. Its actually a life long process, but this is when it truly begins. This is also whe people generally start thinking seriously about what they really want to do in this world versus what they do not want to do and what they would do for fun. These questions are truly exciting and the way they effect one's religious journey could be fascinating.

The fact that I would be doing parish ministry as well is exciting too. I will be more exposed more to things that go on in the life of an actual congregation in the capacity of my own pastoral identity which is exciting to me as well.

The more I thought about all of this, honestly even if they were not my first choice initially, I have a hunch that i was their first choice. And it kind of hit me that college ministries is probably a little more competitive to get into than general parish ministry and I landed the opportunity to do this on my INTERNSHIP. I realize that I am excited about the ministry, but I am not thrilled about the geography of North Dakota.

However the truth in the matter is that I may need to get over my driving in snow phobia for a lot of locations for doing ministry. Even if it is a place with good public transportation, ministry is very relational and entails being able to visit people in their homes as well as being able to visit someone unexpectedly in the emergency room one minute before heading to the gym or a rehearsal of some sort for my own sanity before I have that dinner that I was invited to. As a result, getting over my driving in snow phobia might do wonders for what I can accomplish in ordained ministry.

The other truth is that Fargo, North Dakota is a lot closer to the Twin Cities, and its the point of realization that some of my dearest friends and the best theater I have ever seen are in a drivable proximity from Fargo as well!

The other thing is that I was having anxieties about what I was going to do before internship and since its a very drivable distance from MN, I can keep things at my parents apartments and borrow less money from my parents in the short interim time that I will have, as I honestly won't have enough time off to find much for work, especially in this economy.

And I can honestly say....God is good, I am excited, and its all going to turn out for the best. Now I just need to finish my semester sucessfully!